Someone in Qatar checked out my blog yesterday . Thank you , person in Qatar ! It must have been a slow day in Qatar . Whatever ! I hope you enjoyed reading the post . You should read a few more of mine . Don’t assume that they represent America , though . That wouldn’t be right .
If you want something more intellectual , then I suggest that you check out The Coming of the Toads . My friend Joe writes it . It has cohesion and coherence and cognizance . Half the time I don’t get the references , so don’t worry too much if you haven’t read the canon of English literature , or don’t know progressive jazz , or have never surfed . Regardless , or irregardless , or nevertheless , or none the less , you’ll enjoy Joe’s blog .
You found my blog , so then maybe you have tasted several worldwide blogs and know something about what’s what with worldwide bloggery . Maybe you could recommend a few good ones to me . Something light and humorous ? Other themes will do , too . Nothing rabid , please . I’m not joining any cults ; not looking for any conversions . Something light , please . Airy . Okey ?
I’m assuming that you’re not the CIA . Though , who else in Qatar would read my blog , I wonder ? But , if you’re the CIA , then forget everything I said . Doesn’t matter . Don’t check out Joe’s blog . Not that there’s anything objectionable in it . Just forget it . Go about your business . Sorry you somehow got sidetracked . Wrong number . Maybe you ‘re concerned about my blog since it doesn’t seem to fit any pattern , theme , focus . Could be coded messages to insurgents ? What else ? That might make sense . Otherwise , it appears to have no focus . No sense . No cohesion . That must have seemed suspicious to you birds . Now I see that ! Well , do what you have to do ; you’ve never taken my advice before .
I hope you are not the insurgent terrorist infiltrator devils somewhere out there in the desert waiting for the next drone strike . Maybe you got a wrong number — hacked in to the wrong web address . Sorry . You read my blog and mistakenly thought it had some purpose ? Can’t figure out what that purpose is yet , though , can you ? Keep trying . New messages sent every once in awhile . Embedded in them is a world of intelligence . I try to disrupt any coherent patterns so that the CIA can’t track it all so easily . Wait . Necessary and vital intelligence is on the way . Sooner or later . Wait for it .
Or , do I have some random friend who happens to be in Qatar ? Work ? Oil industry ? Natural gas ? Shant , are you there ? You did say your Arabic would come in handy some day . You did try to sign up for the Iraq war as an interpreter . Too bad you spoke Arabic , as it turned out . I’m sure that made you too suspect to go . Army can’t be too careful , you know . Did you go to Qatar ? Warm vacation ? If you are in Qatar, Shant , and you read my blog : thanks .
Probably some random Qatari mistakenly happened upon my blog post . Did s/he read it or not ? I wish s/he did read it , but who knows ? Does it matter ?
Yes , it matters . My little bit of nonsense somehow gets to Qatar and pops up on a computer screen , or an i pad screen , or a smart phone screen , or whatever , and then , what ? , it’s ignored ? Maybe it’s merely glanced at and immediately disregarded ? Such an opportunity gone to naught ? We’re talking Qatar here !
FBI interrogator asks me : Why are you contacting Qatar ?
I’m not contacting Qatar , I say . He pulls out the transcript from his satchel and throws it down on the small metal table bolted to the concrete floor .
Oh , that , I say . The FBI agent smiles . Not pleasantly . His slick smirky facsimilie of a smile says Got you caught up in your own twisted lies , Bud . He asks me to explain why someone in Qatar would read my blog . Better think hard before you answer , he suggests . You’re beginning not to make sense .
It doesn’t make any sense to me , either , I say .
Okey , we’ll start over , he says . Someone in Qatar checked out your blog ….. “