I was never good at making lists . Sometimes in years past I have written lists for this or for that . But , then , the list having been scribbled on a scrap of paper , I’d sooner or later toss it out . I’d toss it out for a list of reasons . Maybe too many scraps accumulated . Maybe the list was unreadable by the time I got curious enough to read it . Maybe it was out of date by the time I would read it . Maybe I’d file it away for future reference ; and then it was destined to being lost forever .
No, I’m not going to make any list . Maybe I am anti-list . President Obama made a list . When he was elected he wrote down what he would accomplish as President . And then he met the House of Representatives .
Old Adolf Schiekelgruber , the Austrian painter , made a list of countries to conquer . It worked for him for awhile . But then the whole thing kind of backfired and he blew his brains out in an underground bunker in Berlin . It would have been better , no doubt , had he not gone down the list so aggressively .
Check Google , why don’t you, for top 10 lists . Some of the titles are fascinating , funny, intriguing . How about : TOP 10 PEOPLE WITH NAMES PERFECTLY SUITED FOR WHAT THEY DO . That’s probably a good one . I’m not going to read the lists . I’m anti-list , I guess .
I’m writing this because a fellow blogger over at Tales from the Motherland wrote a list of her 100 favorite movies . Commenters chimed in : Why wasn’t Gone With The Wind included ? Why wasn’t Maltese Falcon or Double Indemnity included ? It would have been on my list! It should have been listed ! My whole world is disrupted now that your list doesn’t match my list ! You call that a list of favorite movies ? Whose ? Not my list ! No way !
If you are a lister , and you can’t help yourself , I might suggest that you keep your list to yourself . Put it up on the ice box door if you want . Stick it up there with the little magnetized real estate ad that you got as junk mail once , or with the little chipped banana-shaped magnet . Or , better , with both . Interested parties in your house can have a look , a good look if they so desire . Readers of your list will have some understanding of you . If you change the list , drop some items , cross them out with a fat pencil or sloppily with a thin pink marker , or if you add an item or two later on , no one will throw it in your face ; no one will accuse you of promoting a faulty list . No : Why didn’t you include this ? Why on earth have you included that ? Are you some kind of a nut ? You’re some kind of a nut ! That list is horrible , crazy , short-sighted , bizarre ! How could you put together such a collection of nonsense ? I wouldn’t have included any of those things . Except for number five , perhaps , and sixteen . Maybe number twenty too . The others ? What in the world were you thinking ! I would definitely have added ………………………