The Postman Always Drives By

I , generally , believe in the social  philosophy live and let live . As long as you don’t mess with me .

The new neighbor , for example :  He didn’t want to rake the magnolia leaves from his front lawn ? So what if they piled up ten inches high . Not my problem . Some people like a dry crackly dead leafy lawn . But . But the problem was the brown crinkly leaves would wander over onto my driveway with the wind , slowly sliding  on their dried tough  edges , sneaking one by one , at first , then getting bolder and slipping over en masse .    They began furtively to inhabit my lawn ; and then they wandered , uninvited , around my side yard , hiding ( not too effectively) behind the narcissus , against the stucco . Now it was my business , so to speak . No more live and let live .  Enough of rugged individualism . Bring me your tired , your huddled masses of magnolia leaves and seed cones ? Not in my front yard , buddy boy . As it turns out , Ada  early on , had talked to the neighbors about the problem . I think the neighbor’s wife got on his case after that  and made him clean up . He had all kinds of fancy new yard equipment . He even had a hand-held  yard vacuum . I heard a repetitive thumping noise one afternoon as I was trying to enjoy me retirement . An irritatingly odd noise in the neighborhood . Needed to be checked out . I peeked out the window to see what it was all about , in the watchful neighborhood style — my neighbors would do the same for me — and I saw the new neighbor working on his leaves .

MagnoliafruitopenThey were being swallowed by this innovative yard  tool clumsily hefted by the neighbor , kind of a scrawny guy . It  was making  the loud thump noise I had been hearing . The poor guy had a frustrated , despairing look on his sweaty ,  tortured  face . The thump of every sucked-up hard magnolia fruit would make him wince . He may have been , at that moment , reflecting :  So much for modern technology !  He may have been wondering why he’d spent so much money on this troublesome  yard tool . Who knows what might have been filtering through his mind , if anything , at that moment .

I had suggested to him early on  that he hire the gardeners who had worked his front lawn for years before he arrived . ” I’m my own gardener ,” he told me . With a tinge , an unpleasant whiff ,  of arrogance . A little halo of hubris wobbled  above his head . My own gardener . We’ll see.  Then he didn’t do a speck of gardening for weeks , until he had dead grass and a leaf pile ten inches high and it became my problem . It was Don’s problem , too . Don lives in the house on the other side of the new neighbor . Don ,  having put up with the world for ninety-one years ,  has more patience than I have, though  .

“He works very hard , ” Don said . ” He’s always busy ,” he said . He doesn’t have time to do yardwork , ” he said . ” Maybe it’s not his thing ,” Don said , as the leafy weeks went on and the pile grew .  Until a couple of months passed . The magnolia tree discards  eventually began to pile up on Don’s lawn too .  ” He should clean up that mess , ” Don said .

And he did , finally , of course . He hired the gardeners who had previously tended the lawn . Now , though , they demanded more money . One pays a price for arrogance , I guess . Not too many leaves reach my yard now , or Don’s yard .

But , this post isn’t about my neighbor and his magnolia leaf issue . This post is about the mailman , the old guy who drives the post office truck from house to house to deliver the mail .mailman 4

But ,  before that , I will mention one more concern of mine  , by way of, and in the interest of, full disclosure  that violates the live and let live maxim.  I am admitting that I can’t stand people who park their cars in the middle  , taking up two spaces , at the curb in front of my house . I wrote a post about that once :  park in your space      No live and let live here ! No way . Pick one side or the other and leave space for another vehicle . It’s only courteous . It’s only thoughtful , compassionate , sympathetic . It’s only human ! But , I digress…………..

So the mailman drives the post office truck from house to house . At each house he climbs down and brings up the mail for one house , then he walks back to the truck and drives to the next house . I could understand that method of delivery if the houses on my block were further apart . But they are 50 foot lots . He drives 50 feet , parks , and then another 50 feet , and then another 50 feet ………….    It bothers me  . My tax money goes to this post office truck’s gas . If the guy can’t walk the route then he shouldn’t be out here delivering mail . Right ? Is it just me ?mail delivery

Ada says to forget it . Live and let live . To each his own .   I’m always saying ” To each his own,” to her . I half feel like reporting this lazy postman to the postmistress . Ada says, ” Don’t do that !” and I am not going to do that . After all : To each his own !  and Live and let live !  But , really !

casablancaI know , there are bigger problems in the world . I read about some of them every day in the newspaper ( online ) . And  it doesn’t take much to see that our little problems don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world ( somewhat Casablanca ) . But still !mail rural 2

I know , I know , I have too much time on my hands .

mailman 2

mailman1

3 Comments

Filed under humor

3 responses to “The Postman Always Drives By

  1. Jessica

    a postman does this on my street also. I am not sure to report or not. could it be a medical problem, would they be hired because of said medical problem? It drives me nuts because it is only one postman/woman and the houses are no where near far apart.

  2. Sallyanne

    Truly enjoyed this. Great cranky writing …

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