I knead bread


—–   Will Rogers   

will rogersI got a comment today on a post I wrote way back in Feb .  It was a weird little post I called  Parasentencing on a Windy Way  , a breezily whimsical piece of near-nonsense . The commenter , by a coincidence ,  is from a city in Poland , Szczecin , with which I am very familiar .

The commentor suggested that my title was not attractive to readers . It was ” vanilla ” , I was told . It was recommended that I check out on-line guidelines for good headlines .

I appreciated the advice , in a general way . I thanked the commenter for the advice . But I  also replied that  perhaps I should add a disclaimer on my blog :  READER BEWARE . THIS POST MAY AMOUNT TO NOTHING MUCH .

I didn’t like being a little snarky and snappish in my reply . But , come on !  Picking one odd post from months back about which to offer me advice   ?   An oddball title like Parasentencing  on a Windy Way   is   “vanilla” .  Parasentencing isn’t , by the way , even a real word . The commenter said that the post made sense . Did it ?  I wonder .

Don’t get me wrong . I’m not insulted by the criticism . My writer’s pride is not damaged . My feelings are not hurt .  I am , instead ,  somehow repulsed by the seemingly presumptuous tone of the words .

I wonder , to tell the truth , why anyone reads my blog . It has no particular focus , it meanders from here to over there , offers  only photos ,  lately , or joke punchlines with no jokes , or bits of random slangs or catch phrases or a bartender’s drink recipe .  Who would follow such a mixed up  crackbrained  mess  of posts calling itself a blog ?

But , I wanted to write a bit in this post about baking bread . Put the yeast in a few spoonfuls of warm water .  Add the yeast , and wait . Then add a pinch or two of salt , flour , and whatever else the recipe calls for , mix it all up , and then , usually , knead , knead , knead . And then , again , wait . When the clump of dough grows to twice its size or so , smack it down , and wait again ,  letting  it rise again .bread making 003

There are no guarantees with bread . Things might go wrong . The yeast might be no good . The loaf might be  left in the oven too long , or not long enough . Who knows what might happen to cause a bum loaf .  There are no guarantees . If it’s no good , don’t eat it . Or eat it if that’s what you want to do  ,  but be sure that you  know what you’ve got .

There are no guarantees with a blog , either . Well , at least with my zig-zaggy blog .  I have fun throwing out the posts . A few , I admit , I might perhaps have considered  disavowing , denying , figuratively scooting away from . Perhaps . But they leave , too ;  they scatter , immediately . I know , I know , they sit comatose on the eternal inner tech space , drifting  in the mysterious  internet ether , there to be inevitably siphoned off by the big -brother bogeyman who secretly store intimate personal information for future evil use , for the fated future horrendously intrusive intimidation ( for those adherents of  bogeyism ) .

I would rather my anonymous Szczecin advisor had read several of my posts before calling one ” vanilla ” .  Read several and then , if you want , say the blog sucks .  Fair enough . To each his own , I always say . You don’t have to like my bread , either .  Maybe the yeast was dead . Maybe I hadn’t kneaded it enough . Maybe it was over-baked . Maybe it was too sweet , or too salty , of not cooked long enough , or was too bland . I’ve done all of those breads . There are no guarantees .weird man 2

Too much vanilla ? Read with a grain of salt and a sense of absurdity .  The blog goes on .

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