Drink Responsibly .
I hear that phrase sometimes in beer ads , in booze ads . Drink Responsibly . I suppose the alcohol manufacturers , the brewers , the distillers , the booze brokers , importers and distributors have cut a deal with the government .
Like putting warning labels on cigarette packs . Watch It ; These Coffin Nails Are Dangerous , Especially To Pregnant Women . Pregnant women — not so much for pregnant men ? Like Mickey Ds putting it on coffee cups after someone got burned on the stuff and sued for millions : Coffee Is Hot . Don’t Burn Your Fingers . Don’t Pour It on Your Lap Or Laps Of Others . You Might Get Burned .
Drink Responsibly ?
So , I offer up a couple of potential cocktails . Who drinks cocktails anymore , anyway . Cocktail parties ? Phenomena of the past ? Cocktails . I had a short discussion with a friend of mine a few days ago , a 4th of July party ( not a cocktail party ) which had been held on the 3rd , about the word cockpit . The term originated as a maritime term , she said . Well , she didn’t use the word maritime . The cockpit , she said , was a small cabin below decks where maybe , she said , roosters were kept . Later the term spread to the use with vehicles and airplanes .
[There’s such a thing as a cockpit California bungalow , too , but let’s let that go for the moment , shall we ? We have to , somehow , get to the point of this post .]
Who cares , you say ? Sounds to be a somewhat fishy explanation ? What does cockpit have to do with cocktails ? Good question . Why were you even talking about this , you may ask , at an Independence Day party ?
Word etymology doesn’t interest you , perhaps . Give me my cocktail recipe and be done with it ! , you think . Like you really cared anyway , right ? Like you will rush out to the wet bar , round up the ingredients , mix one or both of the drinks according to directions , smile because the cocktail is so lasciviously delicious , sit back languid in complete contentment , and thank your lucky stars that I shared the recipes ? . As my New York friend Michael Matthew Heaphy seems to say quite often : Ha . His Ha has , I think , an implied Oh, Give Me A Break ! imbedded within it .
Here goes . Fire one :
1 1/2 oz. rye
3/4 oz. port
1 tbs. lemon juice
1 egg white
1 tsp. powdered sugar
1 pineapple stick
Combine ( except the pineapple stick ) with ice ; shake well . Strain and add ice ; decorate with the pineapple .
WARNING : Do Not Strain Or Shake While Preparing This Cocktail . Straining And/Or Shaking Might Lead To Injury .
Heard from the cockpit : Fire Two ! Here goes :
1 1/2 oz. brandy
1 1/2 oz. curacao
2 tbs. lemon juice
1 tsp. powdered sugar
Combine with ice ; shake extremely well ; Strain and add ice .
WARNING : Do Not Strain Or Shake ( extremely well or otherwise ) While Preparing This Cocktail . Straining And/Or Shaking May Lead To Injury .
ADDITIONAL WARNING : Consumption Of Eggs May Lead To High Cholesterol , Headaches , Mental Trauma , Disorientation , Beri Beri , Leprosy , And In Rare Cases Death . Always Consume With Care .
P.S. I didn’t ask you to read this , did I . Blame yourself if you didn’t enjoy it , and exhibit better judgement next time . As my friend Mac says : Just Saying !