again , a couple of cocktails

Drink Responsibly .

I hear that phrase sometimes in beer ads , in booze ads . Drink Responsibly . I suppose the alcohol manufacturers , the brewers , the distillers , the booze brokers , importers and distributors have cut a deal with the government .

Like putting warning labels on cigarette packs . Watch It ; These Coffin Nails Are Dangerous ,  Especially To Pregnant Women . Pregnant women — not so much for pregnant men ?  Like Mickey Ds  putting it on coffee cups after someone got burned on the  stuff and sued for millions  : Coffee Is Hot . Don’t Burn Your Fingers .  Don’t Pour It on Your Lap Or Laps Of Others . You Might Get Burned .

Drink Responsibly ?

So ,  I offer up a couple of potential cocktails . Who drinks cocktails anymore , anyway . Cocktail parties ?  Phenomena of the past ?  Cocktails . I had a short discussion with a friend of mine a few days ago , a 4th of July party ( not a cocktail party ) which had been held on the 3rd ,  about the word cockpit . The term originated as a maritime term , she said . Well , she didn’t use the word maritime . The cockpit , she said , was a small cabin below decks where  maybe , she said , roosters were kept . Later the term spread to  the use with  vehicles and airplanes .

[There’s such a thing as a cockpit California bungalow , too , but let’s let that go for the moment , shall we ?  We have to , somehow , get to the point of this post .]

Who cares , you say ? Sounds to be a  somewhat fishy explanation ?  What does cockpit have to do with cocktails ?  Good question .  Why were you even talking about this , you may ask , at an Independence Day party ?

Word etymology doesn’t interest you , perhaps . Give me my cocktail recipe and be done with it ! , you think . Like you really cared anyway , right ? Like you will rush out to the wet bar , round up the ingredients , mix one or both of the drinks according to directions , smile because the cocktail is so lasciviously delicious , sit back languid in  complete contentment , and thank your lucky stars that I shared the recipes ?  . As my New York friend Michael Matthew Heaphy seems to say quite often : Ha . His Ha has , I think , an implied Oh, Give Me A Break ! imbedded within it .

Here goes . Fire one :


1  1/2  oz. rye

3/4  oz. port

1 tbs. lemon juice

1 egg white

1 tsp. powdered sugar

1 pineapple stick

Combine ( except the pineapple stick ) with ice ; shake well . Strain and add ice ; decorate with the pineapple .

WARNING : Do Not Strain Or Shake While Preparing This Cocktail . Straining And/Or  Shaking Might Lead  To   Injury .

Heard from the cockpit : Fire Two ! Here goes :


1  1/2 oz. brandy

1  1/2 oz. curacao

2 tbs. lemon juice

1 tsp. powdered sugar

1 egg

Combine with ice ; shake extremely well ; Strain and add ice . 

WARNING : Do Not Strain Or Shake ( extremely well or otherwise ) While Preparing This Cocktail . Straining And/Or Shaking May Lead To Injury .

ADDITIONAL WARNING  :  Consumption Of Eggs May Lead To High Cholesterol , Headaches , Mental Trauma , Disorientation , Beri Beri , Leprosy , And In Rare Cases Death . Always Consume With Care .

P.S. I didn’t ask you to read this , did I . Blame yourself if you didn’t enjoy it , and exhibit better judgement next time . As my friend Mac says : Just Saying !


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5 responses to “again , a couple of cocktails

  1. Sallyanne

    God, I need a drink!

  2. susan linker

    i love it that you’re so humble.

  3. You didn’t say whether or not these drinks might contain peanuts, or if any animals were harmed during the writing of this post. Thanks for the etymology lesson – I’ll stick with beer.

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