I wanted to snap a couple of pictures for my blog of the pineapple-shaped concrete things at each end of the new metro bridge across the 210 . I asked a couple of the guys working where the new station will be if I might get access to the bridge . Go down Colorado , they told me , just past that park . You know that park ? You can get access there .
So I drove down Colorado , just past the park , and I found the access to the pineapples . There was a dirt road scraped recently into the hillside and an open chain link gate . Signs in red letters told me to get lost , I would be instantly spotted on surveillance cameras , that only authorized personnel could be here , etc.
I authorized myself . I was doing research . I would author-ize the experience in my blog , after all . I , although technically trespassing , intended no vandalism or other harm . I trudged up the slope in my sandals and Hawaiian shirt . Film me all you want NSA , CIA, LAPD, APD , MTA ! I will , worse come to worst , throw myself on the mercy of the court . The law is based in reasonableness , right ?
No one was around . I spotted the pineapples a few hundred yards away . I snapped a photo and my little camera informed me that my battery had pooped out . So I went home to recharge it . Tomorrow is another day .
Today I set out again , but with boots , this time , to trudge through the dirt . My re-charged little camera was ready . Crews were busy digging and grading and siting . I just wanted to take a few snapshots of the bridge.
” Sorry , partner , but this is a hard hat safety glasses area . I can’t let you in . ”
OSHA was standing just behind us , ominous , silently watching . I had worn my boots for nothing . ” Any other access to it ? ” I asked the hard hat safety glasses wet blanket . He considered for a moment . He told me that the freeway was , maybe , the only access . Thanks , partner , but I’m not stopping on the freeway to take a couple of photos . Thanks , anyway .
I considered getting a hard hat and safety glasses from my friend Bill , the surveyor . His house wasn’t too far away . But then I’d no doubt be stopped by the ” Authorized personnel only ” provision . We can’t have just anyone with a hard hat and safety glasses wandering around our construction project sites . To quote Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now : The horror ! Bill has told me , though , some tales about his experiences with that kind of thing. They don’t put up DANGER signs for nothing around construction sites .
You know , nevertheless , if I were thirty years younger , I’d have been climbing behind some quiet house a little further along Colorado and then climbing the construction company fence in order to shoot a couple of photos . But , you know , this morning , I was on the way to have my car washed —– senior discounts on Wednesday , Ada says . So I went , determining that I could , within the greater scheme of things , do without the pineapple photos . One chooses one’s battles in life , and this wasn’t going to be one of those times for me .
Someone else was talking about the bridge a few days ago . ” Are those supposed to be pineapples ? ” the person asked . I don’t know . Who knows ? It might be a state secret .