Dec the halls

I didn’t know it was December . I was sure there would be another week of November . November’s  one of the  long months , after all  . But I heard it on the radio : December First .  When I got home I verified it with Ada . December First ?  Yeah .

Now I have to put up Christmas lights . Some of the neighbors already have theirs up . I’ll wait for some of the snow to melt first . Well , no snow in Arcadia recently , not for at least a century , I suppose , so that excuse might not fly .

But , many of these Christmas yard -reindeer are white . That means they’re covered with snow , I think . And the inflatable Santas are all bundled up  in snow boots and mittens . Some of the roofs ( rooves ?) are snow -covered . Well , the strings of lights look like snowflakes , at least , don’t they ?

It’s all very confusing . Especially since December seems to have suddenly sneaked up on me , popped out of nowhere . I saw a Facebook  post about ” the running of the Santas ” . There is a photo of hundreds ( I didn’t actually count them ) of Santas . All of them had the red suits , the black boots , the white beards .  I wonder if they are all Elvises during the off-season . What do you think ? And Uncle Sams on July 4th . Is there a circuit ?

I haven’t done my Christmas shopping yet — not that I ever do much , anyway .  It may be ‘the thought that counts’ , but it’s pretty hard to gift wrap a thought nicely . Pretty wrapping paper with Christmas tree bulbs . Big red bow .

Wow ! Thanks for the thought !

No . Wouldn’t work .

We have a wooden candy cane in the garage I will need to stick out in the front yard . There used to be an angel banner , too , but , the angel may have flown off by now . Maybe not .

Angels are somewhat unpredictable . My guardian angel , never especially competent( sorry , angel ! ) , in my observation ,  seems to also have been missing for the last few decades . Gave up , I guess . I wouldn’t blame him/her/it  for that , really .  I’ve heard that guardian angels don’t volunteer for the job . They’re assigned . Some are lucky , I guess , and get some bright kid with ambition ,  initiative , and loads of energy .  I’m thinking of a Bill Gates type . For all the other  g.a. draftees it’s probably a pretty depressing line of work — a type of angeling they hadn’t counted on when they showed up for  heavenly roll call  .people in the house - statues 037

Lucifer and those boys don’t have to be guardian angels , I suspect . But , as everyone knows , they do sit on shoulders and offer the opposing view when the g. a. is trying his/her/its best to give good advice  . That little devil input must be a kick for the devil , but would be extremely frustrating  for the struggling guardian angel .

But , enough of angels . I better get over to the mall and have a look around . I hope Black Thursday is over and done with . Never can tell , these days . There might be a Red Sticker Monday or a Price Cut Tuesday or a Buy One Get One Free Wednesday or a Gray Thursday . If there is I’d like to know beforehand so that I can avoid the crowds .

However , I did have an idea about those sale days . Someone could invent and market elbow armor to use to battle one’s way into the store at four in the morning , or whenever . It would strap on securely and could be used defensively or offensively . Whack ! Whack !  Get and keep the advantage as you fight to open a path  toward that big flat screen T.V.  that’s suddenly so cheap . You’re buying it for a present , right ?  Yeah , right .

Don’t worry about your guardian angel as you strap on your elbow armor . He/she/ it has been in a coma since you were a kid , probably , and  he /she/it no doubt wouldn’t be much of  a help anyway .

On the other hand , if you still have a functioning g.a. , and you want to give away that flat screen , I could make room in the house for it . I’d probably mount it on the wall in the small den and watch it from next door . We’d work it out . Think it over .

Welcome to December .

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