No , I’m not going to discuss global warming , if that’s what you think . I’ll leave global warming alone , although the topic did come up in a conversation I had with my stepson this morning . We were discussing alternative fuel sources . I’d read about a plan to put wind turbines in the ocean off the coast of Coos Bay , Oregon . One of my sisters lives in Coos Bay .  My stepson  told me that there are ocean windmills in Europe ,  lots of them in Denmark ; lots of them in Germany .

It’s raining outside now. This rain won’t save California from the upcoming drought ; but it’s a symbolic effort .  We’ll be distilling our own sweat in a few months . Laws will outlaw toilet flushing . Lawns ?  Ha !  Anyone with a green lawn will be hounded out-of-state , if not arrested .  The CIA will have to , finally , quit water-boarding terrorists , probably anywhere in the southwest , but certainly in California . Small bottles of water will flood  the black market .

But , perhaps , I exaggerate . Slightly.

As far as I know , the rest of the country is blanketed with snow . Minnesotans are amazed at how cold it is in their state . A Connecticut friend ( he’s  actually  a New Yorker , but had migrated north a few years ago — I’m pretty sure Connecticut is north of New York  — no native CT-er  has  spotted him , so far , and tossed him out ) e-mailed me that his deck is under 10 inches of snow  . Atlanta , a short while ago , came to a standstill due to road ice . The mayor didn’t recognize it for what  it was  and failed to call out the National Guard , or snow-plows , or something . Atlantans got stuck en masse on roads and slept in their cars . That’s what I heard , more-or-less . The weather in the entire country is twisted .

It’s a conspiracy . That’s for sure . I have to admit , though , that I don’t yet know  who is responsible .

So , we were discussing energy sources , windmills , and solar panel farms , and fracking . I was droning on about my belief that a handful of super-rich guys are manipulating the whole thing , politics , public opinion and that they’ve got millions of American suckers passionate about whatever causes , believing that they’re fighting for freedom , or energy independence , or democracy , or whatever . The richest guys are simply interested in making more money and all of these various passionate causes mean less than nothing to these rich guys .

And why , if they have so much money , do they want even more , my stepson asked rhetorically . That’s the key question , I guess .grandchildren at arboretum 165

Meanwhile , Los Angeles got about three inches of rain this year , if that , and we need closer to the average nine . Reservoirs are drying up ; but really drying up this time .  The mild rain today is a tease , I guess , a reminder of times past when there was enough water to go around . I told my buddy Bill that he’ll be able to sell the water in his swimming pool . He could get good money for it if he handles it right . But , he reminded me ,  he is vulnerable , now , to water-lusting water thieves , some of them no doubt vicious and violent , desperate .

We’ll need a modern-day Willie  Mulholland who can figure out , this time around , how to get the frozen easterners’ melting snowfall out to L.A. We would like  someone a few months from now to stand at the mouth of the pipeline , or whatever delivery system is devised , to exclaim , as William Mulholland did : There it is , take it !  

Meanwhile , here in southern California , we are enjoying a warm winter . We keep the sun-screen handy as we read about the rest of the nation staggering through their ice-slapped winter months tramping around in  snow boots and parkas . Atlantans , of course , haven’t got snow-boots or parkas . We have them in southern California because we drive up to the local mountains to ski , and to snowboard , and to look to see what snow looks like .grandchildren at arboretum 297

I was spouting out about my belief that a handful of super-rich guys are manipulating the entire national discussion about global warming , war , fracking , energy independence , freedom …………   They have one intention : making money .   Why they want more money since they already have more than they know what to do with  ?  Ah !  I don’t have an answer . All I know is : it’s all a conspiracy .Riot


Filed under humor

8 responses to “weather

  1. The professor sends his condolences over this morning’s conversation with your step son. Never you mind, common sense is rapidly leaving society, but all is well if you can call upon your Punchyish nature. You do don’t you?

  2. Good read ! I’d be happy to share some of our snow, but I moved it into a pile with the snow blower and our puppy really likes being Queen of the Hill –

    • Maybe you could send some over on drones . Not sure of the range or load capacity of those things , though . Puppy will have to share . Sorry , dog ! But , we have dog days of summer for you .

  3. Melissa Hollingsworth

    Here in Tucson, we are feeling your exact exasperation over the weather situation. We got our first ‘below’ freezing night about a week ago… it lasted one night. It was kind of night to wake up to a little frost on the car windows before making my way in 70 degrees of warmth to the still air conditioned school where I am working on my bachelors in psychology. I also feel it’s a huge conspiracy by the rich. Now, if we could only find a way to make them see the brilliance in importing water from some fresh water paradise….

    • Melissa , thanks for the comment . Well , psychology . If you go into clinical aspects I could use some work— a lot of it . I have to admit that I don’t know anything about where Tucson gets its water — Colorado River , I guess . Nice part of the country . Yeah , the super rich ! ( If you , however , join their ranks , then forget I said anything ! ) Take care .

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