earthquakes and ratish debris

If you’re reading this and I’m already under a ton of debris , well , enjoy anyway . But , don’t hold your breath for the next post . Don’t worry about me . Dust to dust , and all that .SKULL

I read this morning in the newspaper that the San Andreas Fault slips and slides  , throws a major hissy-fit   big time  every 158 years , on average . These scientists must have been just about  my skill level of  math student   , though , because the next sentence in the paper stated that the last big one on the San Andreas was in 1680 . Let’s see …… every 158 years …………….and it’s 2014…………….

I guess that when I write the big one  people know what that means . Everyone in California is , more-or-less , expecting  the big one  some one of these days . I guess we’re about as ready for it as we’ll ever be , despite periodic news specials , fire department announcements , etc. , to try to prepare us for it . I should have said : that try to get us to prepare for it , for  the inevitable .

I , at least ,  have a wrench ready to turn the gas off , an extra roll of toilet paper stashed away somewhere , enough canned goods to live for a few days .  In other words , like most of my fellow statesmen ( ie. Californians ; not the other things ) , I am almost totally unprepared .  Being religious folk out here on the left coast , as everyone knows ,  we , I have to conclude , are putting the future in God’s hands . I don’t know about the atheists . Maybe they have water stored , and bandages , and a cache of small bills , portable toilet  , hand-crank radio………………..two skulls

Well , actually , I won’t be under tons of debris . That was an exaggeration. I’ll most likely be under the  shakings of a small 1941 wood-frame house , with it’s ratish attic debris . I don’t mean rat-ish as in harboring rats . If there were rats in my attic I’d have got rid of them right away ( not like the bats in my belfry ). I mean ratish as in ratish-looking insulation . Ratish is my new word , made up , as far as I know . Ratish , meaning no disrespect to rats , who can’t help being rats , after all . The attic insulation is really very ratish , though , and it should be said . I’ve been thinking about replacing it . Right after I get my earthquake kit ready , maybe .

I’ll be under a ton of formerly wall-hung plates , too , however , now that I think of it , and knick-knacks .  If  the big one has really been storing up its energy all those centuries , though , it won’t matter to me . I won’t have to worry . I’ll be swallowed up into the San Andreas fault ,  inhaled into the nostrils  of geologia  , spit out upon the smoldering remnants of the world we now know . That old world will be gone .

Mid-westerners will feel slightly better then , I suspect , about their exorbitant propane prices , as they watch TV .  Easterners will be grateful , perhaps , for their blankets of snow and their slippery roads . No earthquakes , at least , they’ll reflect , perhaps . Southerners will say , perhaps : Well , we can put up with a little ice . grandkids at huntington garden 128

We were talking about earthquakes today , after dinner . Ada and I were retelling tales of our earthquake experiences . Her son was expressing some hope that he’d feel one while he is here . His wife was asking how she should prepare the kids , four and eight year-olds , for the possibility .  Stay calm ,  first of all . Don’t  panic .

We have in southern California our brush fires , mudslides , and earthquakes .  And the drought — let’s not for get that .  At least it ain’t tornados or  hurricanes we have to worry about .  And an earthquake lasts only a few moments , after all ,  so maybe  we won’t worry about it right now .

But , if you don’t get my next post …………………….


Filed under humor

6 responses to “earthquakes and ratish debris

  1. I think your earthquake kit should include your having a few posts written and stored as drafts that you (or others) could release after the quake. Ease us down gently from the steady stream of good writing. When it happens, it won’t all be about you, you know.

  2. Melissa Hollingsworth

    I took my first trip to San Diego a couple of years ago, and also my very first view and walk in the ocean. While I was there, I did get to feel a small tremble. It was very interesting. Do those small trembles happen often? I wondered that, but had never thought to ask…
    On your new word… I think I also feel ratish today…tons of homework and all that…

    • Truth is tremblors are happening all the time . We don’t feel most of them . There was a 3.0 a few days ago , but the center was a little too far away to feel it here in Arcadia . Depends on where the center is and , of course , how strong it is . Also , factor in the earth beneath your feet —- solid rock or dirt fill , etc. We sometimes feel a quake and don’t recognize it as such . Thanks for asking .

  3. Hey Dan, I’ve never been in an earthquake, but at least our Florida hurricanes give us plenty of warning. I think I’ll stick with those while you pack up your breakables for safe keeping.:)

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