Monthly Archives: February 2014

lost something in the translation

key vikingI’ll try not to spoilwac as I write this .

I’ve been trying to follow a blog from Poland . I don’t know how that began . But the posts , probably more and more creative and well-written in Polish , become , I think , less and less translatable on the simple automatic google translator . Here’s a sample of a recent post :

   ”   I’ll try not spoilwac and not out-talk.

Smarzowski like , even though it is unfavorable portrait painter and accuses him redrawing indeed , his films ( ‘HighwayPatrol’ , ‘The Dark House’ ) is the essence of what is wrong , the intensity hardly bearable for the well-being of viewer . Overdoing ?  I do not know……It’s not like bends , these things happen in this country , do not kid yourself . A Smarzowski is as talented perfumer who brings hajchorokterystycznlejsze threads and merges them into a striking bouquet. striking literally because the smell of condensed pounding his fist at you between the eyes .    “

It’s a film review , of course , and the filmmaker is , evidently , also a talented perfumer . I don’t think I’ll go see the film . Two reasons : 1. I don’t know what film is being discussed , and 2. I wouldn’t like the smell of condensed pounding .

I would like to get my hands on that bouquet of hajchorokterystycznlejsze threads , though . I’d give it to Ada as a surprise. They’re hard to find in this country .

Overdoing ?  It’s not like bends . Do not kid yourself .anglo-saxon print

3 Comments

Filed under humor

clocks 2

clock grandfather

clock gothic wall

clock 22

clock 4

clock5

5 Comments

Filed under uncategorized

clocks 1

clock watch

clock turret old

clock rolling ball

clock old

clock grd 2

Leave a comment

Filed under uncategorized

licking glaciers 1

queen of heartsenglish knightI’ve been trying to start a post about licking glaciers and being your own worst enemy and the warm weather we in southern California have been having . Maybe I’d throw in a little about my recent dreams , some elements of them  definitely school-related .

WARNING : DON’T LICK THE GLACIER . 

Something, too ,  about not showing up to a gunfight armed only with a knife .english knightenglish knight

m-16s

booby trap

There has to be a guillotine in there :guillotine

You’re right , of course ; it doesn’t make any sense . Maybe if I throw in a 1000 year-old broach :broach 2

I wish I could say the broach helped . I don’t think it did , though . An old Scottish chess piece ? : chessman scot.

You take it from here .

A musician ? :cello man player

Too late for Queen Victoria , I suppose .

thimble with queen victoriavictoria queenI might need an editor .

I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm—–Calvin Coolidge

Leave a comment

Filed under humor

rattish

english knightIt was pointed out to me [ the pointer will remain unidentified ; you know who you are  ]  that my spelling of my new word , ratish , should be r-a-t-t-i-s-h .  So , I’ve been feeling just a bit rattish about mis-spelling it right from the start .

rattish : adj.

1. rodentalish , 2. poopalereous , 3. generally anti-accepticable , 4. having characteristics of rats

After not bathing for several days , I was feeling rather rattish .

Congressman Wilternwishe rubbed his whiskers in a rattish manner during the hearing . grandkids at descanso gardens 068

I was on the 210 Freeway today with the grandkids and their parents when a white van began weaving , swaying repeatedly into my lane . Maybe the driver was drunk .  Otherwise , I say , learn to drive and THEN get a license —- that’s the proper order . I honked .   My daughter-in-law said:   Why did you horn him ?  

He was coming into my lane , I explained .

I like Why did you horn him ? .  That’s Ada’s expression as she was learning English in earlier days . My daughter-in-law was intentionally using Ada’s expression . It fits all the rules of English , I said . And it does . 

I didn’t tell Daughter-in-law that I  really don’t know all of the rules of English . She lives in Poland ; has an advanced degree in American English , and thinks , I think , that she SHOULD know all of the rules of English . To be honest , I’m not really sure there is a set of rules of English any more . Didn’t we toss that out back about the Nixon administration ?  Maybe not . I don’t remember .

[conversation]

That’s exothermic progressive  genitive positive  case , isn’t it ?

I thought it was hard case ?

Are you kidding ? Really ? Did you mean hard conditional pro-genitive reflexive ?

No. I mean , yes . 

That’s the first rule we learn is Poland . You can’t use hard case translucent conditional progressive , except during leap years , and then only in the potential case . 

They got rid of hard conditional in this country .

Really ? Are you kidding me ?

No.

I’m going to have to throw out all of my books ! They’re all wrong .

Toss ’em . Americans don’t give a damn . We tossed ours out years ago .

Doesn’t that make you feel rattish ? 

Not at all .  Maybe during leap year .

Wow !  grandkids at descanso gardens 050

11 Comments

Filed under humor

chevy 1927

27 chev 27 chev touring car 1927 chev 1927 chevy coupe 1927 chevy touring car 1927_Chevrolet_Capitol_Coach touring car chev1927

Leave a comment

Filed under uncategorized

donkeys and plane crashes

Annually , donkeys cause more deaths than…………

Someone in Brooklyn posted on Facebook :  It has been found that women with large backsides live , on average , longer than men who point it out to them .

I would substitute the term ” butts” for backsides . That makes it a little funnier , in my opinion . Use of the word backsides is self-serving and pretentious , trying to pretend that you’re not really crass ,  rude ,  and sexist .  Backsides is phonily polite . If someone wants to post or tell that  joke , the person should be straightforward , I think . Maybe it’s funny . But it’s also crass , rude , and sexist . You want to use “backsides” out of false modesty , to have your cake and eat it too ? The word specious comes to mind ( Well , not really . I had to look it up . )

Another alternative term , a bit too far along on the vocabularious continuum , though , would be to use ” ass ” .  That is too crass ; too rude .  Stand-up comedians would probably use that word , considering it hip , in-your-face , and professionally effective . Do audiences still ha ha ha because someone dares vulgarity ? Really ?    To-each-his-own , I usually say , but in this case , since it’s my blog , after all , I say : screw them ! [ notice that I didn’t use the F word — first used in print in 1568 , by the way ].   It’s always inappropriate to use “ass” when ” butt” will do .  There’s no point to be vulgar for vulgarity’s sake . Vulgarity doesn’t give a tinker’s damn about anyone but itself — keep that in mind .grandkids in Morro Bay , etc. 190

One of my sisters e-mailed me the donkey-death thing . She saw it on an insurance agent’s joke board :  Actually , donkeys cause more deaths than air crashes .

It just hit me as I re-recall the e-mail again —- an inside insurance-agent actuarial joke , ” actually……”  But the e-mail word actually was ” annually” , so forget I said anything about actually .

I got another e-mail a few weeks ago  from the same sister’s  husband .  He had a joke come to mind one night , late at night , or early in the morning . He was sleeping and awoke suddenly , I guess , with this joke on his mind at 3:00 a.m. :

What did the recluse who wanted to be a weaver wish for  ?

O.K. , it’s a riddle , I guess , so I’ll let you have some time to consider a response .  No use giving it away right away .

[Time Out ]grandkids in Morro Bay , etc. 220

Okay , any answers yet ?  My brother-in-law said I could use his 3:00 a.m. joke .  He said that he didn’t know where the joke came from . Reminded him of all the jokes I’ve told over the years , he said . Nice of him to say that . Perhaps .  Did he say “stupid” jokes ? Did he say “dumb” jokes ? No , in all actuariality  , I think not ! He could easily have sold it to Reader’s Digest for  $200 —- I guess they’re still buying jokes . But , no ! He gave it to me ” — ” feel free to use it ” . I’m like a  Xerox machine of jokes , spewing the same ones out again and again ad-nauseum ( Is ad-nauseum a word ? But , anyway , you get the idea .)

What did the recluse who wanted to be a weaver wish for ?  

To be left a loom .

There are several intriguing  aspects to this joke . First , my brother-in-law doesn’t have any idea where it came from ; but , Second , it suddenly struck him at 3:00 a.m.  ; and ,  Third , he remembered it the next day ; and , Fourth , he sent it to me with the background information for a concise joke context .  What could be better ?   Besides , Fifth , it’s a funny joke .grandkids in Morro Bay , etc. 196

Where DID the weaver/loom joke  come from ?  Maybe he’s got others hiding  there in his noggin someplace  waiting to ambush him .  Maybe he’s haunted by the ghost of Milton Berle or Henny Youngman . Maybe it’s some form of retribution for not laughing demonstrably  enough at dumb jokes in the past .  Could it be an extremely  rare form of autism , only to progress slow and steady until dumb jokes become his world ?

My brother-in-law is an artist . He has a gallery in Coos Bay , ( check out : JVT Creations ) .   I suspect that his artist’s mind created the joke — devising , in effect , another artistic expressive outlet — and that he will soon , no doubt , be bombarded with swarms of jokes borne anew , popping into his imagination spontaneously and perhaps continuously , but hopefully not all of them at 3:00 a.m. in the morning .grandkids in Morro Bay , etc. 230

I often wondered about the origin of jokes . Perhaps my brother-in-law is , for mysterious and magical reasons , saddled with being , or chosen miraculously and ordained to be ,  the latest joke Creator .

All I can say is , given the way people abuse jokes : Good luck with that .grandkids in Morro Bay , etc. 227

3 Comments

Filed under humor