I’m not claiming to be a writer . I write , but I am not competing in the writer-or-not-a-writer tournament . I don’t make my living at writing , and I sure don’t pretend to . Publishing ? I’m not maintaining a blog in order to build my writer resume , to market myself because that’s what someone might have said should be done . What I’m trying to say is I have no writer credentials to flaunt . At all —– except this long-in-the-tooth silly blog . I don’t even teach writing . Don’t even teach it . Don’t teach any damn thing anymore , as a matter of fact , and don’t want to . Been there done that . Nuf’s enough . My work is done here . Good night , Jon Boy. Basta . Koniec . Fin.
Now I have got the necessary disclaimer out of the way —- no authority whatsoever to offer advice . No reason whatsoever you should be paying any attention to this post . But , since you are evidently persistent ( to use a generous , kind term !) [ don’t give up hope —- therapy is available ; there is still hope ! ] , I will press on .
So , you think you are a writer ! ( or ) So , you think you want to be a writer ! Consider these tips :
1. Keep your day job.
2. Go back to school . Study engineering , or something in the gerontological health care field , or welding , or plumbing . Consider a minor in Chinese .
3. Writing something ? Finish it . Thinking about writing something ? If you spend too much time thinking about a thing , then you’ll never get it done . —–Bruce Lee
4. Wean yourself from the internet , or , alternately , jump right in and swirl around in there , trying to read everything including advice to writers and /or to wanna-be published authors , and/or original works of other practicing writers , and/or literary blogs , etc. [ note: this bit of advice won’t help you write ; but it may keep your fantasy identity and ambitions alive , and , generally , keep you out of more trouble and , presumably , not hurt anybody ]
5. [ # 5 to be filled in by reader ]