rain in….


I know it’s no big deal for most people , people who live in wet places . Rain .   But I live in southern California and there’s not much rain . We’re in a drought period , too . I read in the L A Times today that California has not reached it’s conservation-of-water goal . So far it’s been voluntary ; but if there’s no rain again next year that voluntary stuff might end .

CACTUSLos Angeles will pay homeowners to tear up their lawns and replace those water-gulpers  with water-sipping plants . They pay per square foot . I’d go for it in a New York minute if I lived in L.A.   And , I guess , if I was sure of what a New York minute is . Besides , a third of my front lawn has dried up and died , anyway . Would they pay for dead grass replacement ? My back lawn I replaced years ago . No one paid me a cent . But , then again , we’re not in the city of L.A. , Long Beach , or any other of those pay-for-replacement places .

I should clarify that state conservation measures have been voluntary so far , but that doesn’t mean there are no regulations around the state . Our neighboring city of Sierra Madre , for example , has imposed strict usage quotas . Those were put in place after water rate increases , too . And , for most of my friends over there in Sierra Madre , their (more expensive)  water now comes out of the faucet yellow , so they’ve been  buying  bottled water for drinking .

Oh , Sierra Madre ! Ada and I got out of there just in time . Next , they’ll be over our way trying to steal our good Arcadia water . I’m considering installing locks on my hose spigots . It’s difficult to predict the desperate actions  of thirsty people .

I went to see my friend Bill a few weeks ago over at his canyon house in Sierra Madre . Something was obviously wrong . I won’t say that Bill looked crazed , but he was on the slippery slope , at least . ” I checked my water ration with the city “, he told me . Four days to the end of the cycle and Bill had reached his limit for water use. ” If I use one more gallon they double my water bill. ”  Bill claimed that the city had lowered his water allotment but had not informed him . He had only found out by coincidence .

I gave him a bottle of water I had in my car . It’s a shame the depths to which some people have fallen !Random Poland - rain 006

Anyway , here I am in Poland . It’s been raining off and on all morning . Lots of water everywhere . Or , as my old neighbor Don back in Arcadia might say : ” everwhere “. I was caught in the rain an hour or so ago while on my walk around . No problem . It was a soft , friendly rain . I wasn’t out in it long enough to get soaked .

We’re not in California anymore , Toto .

I do have a solution to the water crisis back home : plant potatoes and onions ; one row of potatoes next to one row of onions . The onions will make the eyes in the potatoes cry and the crops will be watered . If there were to be any excess , the onion/potato farmers could sell it to Sierra Madre for drinking water . Sure, it would have a funny taste , but those poor devils over  in Sierra Madre are  already used to that .



Filed under humor

4 responses to “rain in….

  1. Your solution helped me to start this day with a smile – thanks.

  2. You always have a solution for the problems of the world. We have a drought here in Texas. We are now limited to watering only once every 2 weeks. That ain’t gonna work. Dead grass, here we go.

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