I was ready to blog about people giving directions , but I read over at The Coming of the Toads about haircuts and hedgehogs , and I decided that I must now write about haircuts . What a topic , eh ? World-shaking ! Well , anyhow , here goes :
I might start out by commenting on the proverbial elephant in the room before we go anywhere else with this . My two brothers both have full heads of hair . Me , not . Like my father and his brothers having full heads of hair , except for Uncle John . John was the oldest and known among that generation as being the smartest . Having the reputation among that generation of the family as being the smartest was saying something , too . I’ll leave that there , for now .
Once again , as my fellow blogger over at Sound of Swarming says : But I digress . So , onward :
I don’t feel bad about being a baldy -head . In most ways it’s really easier than having hair . It’s just curious how that phenomenon happens . O.K. , Uncle John was the smartest of his siblings . Too much thinking might have retarded ( pardon the word !) the hair growth . Would that it were in my case . I can’t claim that by a long-shot . Explanations in my case have to be completely different . And I’m the middle brother . Why the younger and the older brothers have lots of hair and the middle guy doesn’t ? Seem odd to you ? Does to me .
My mother used to give us boys , in the days of crewcuts , buzz -cuts with what I’m guessing might have been an army-surplus electric buzz-cutter . More likely a Marine Corps-surplus device . We all got haircuts every couple of weeks , I guess . By the end of them we each wound up with the look I have now . There were some short sprouts of hair that had somehow escaped the buzzer —- kind of a soft cloud of hair covering the scalp .
I had thin hair . My mother would be buzzing away as she told me : ” You should have been a girl .” That little suggestion used to kind of freak me out for a few years . What did she know that I didn’t ? I should have been a girl ? Why ? Was I girlie in ways I wasn’t aware ? Had there been some mixup at the hospital ? What ? Again and again : ” You should have been a girl .”
Eventually , when I reached the age of reason , I realized what she meant ( I hope ! ) was that my hair was so soft , thin , and curly , that it would have been pretty on a girl . Girls would have loved to have my hair rather than thick straight , good-for-crewcut hair . Flat-top type hair . Remember flat-tops ? No , of course , almost all of you are too young to remember flat-tops . That’s o.k. Probably that hair style is best forgotten, anyway .
To make a long story short ( because already I’m bored with this ; so I can imagine what you readers think ! ) I don’t worry about haircuts . I like to have the back of my neck shaved every now and again . Ada buzzes my scalp every now and again , too . I’ve forgotten how it was to go to the barber , have him whip that brush back and forth on my neck when he’d finished , have him slick my hair down in the early days with what they call ” toilet water ” , I guess . But then , when my hair would dry , it would curl and fly every which way , as if it had never been cut .
So , next time you’re at the barber shop , or hair -dresser , or whatever it’s called these days , be sorry that you were not blessed with a head like my Uncle John’s and mine . Your life would be easier . You might have had a 50/50 chance of being smarter , too . I’m not sure about that , though .