art ( or art not )

415RbeoMAzL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_       I finally broke down and decided to write on a topic of which I have no expertise , don’t know anything about ; but , nevertheless , have an opinion . ( I hear some of you saying : ‘ So , what else is new ?  ‘ )If you have a different opinion about what I’m going to say , then that’s  okey . You’re welcome to it . I’ll probably keep mine on this topic , though .  It doesn’t matter much anyway , I think . (That’s another opinion with which you may not agree . Live with it !)levitated mass by Heiser LA


I’ve included in this post a picture of what passes for art in Los Angeles . The County  Museum of Art  paid for this chunk of rock , built its pedestal , set it up so visitors can walk under it  so they can wonder , I guess , what the hell it’s all about . Is that enough to make it art ? Then it’s art , man !

Well , at least for once the  mountain  went to Mohamet . Maybe that’s something .

I had a roommate in college , Don , who would pick junk up , junk that he’d found on his walks  home from class .  Once , for example , he found an odd tangle of rusted wire about the size of a basketball . Don dragged  it home and hung it up in the living room . Art ? Why not . Don never lectured about the deep significance of his findings . He never explained them to the rest of us , explaining in detail why the pieces were  great art , in that Veteran Ave apartment . Don went on to become an MD ; specializes in radiology . He lives in West Virginia last time I looked . I don’t know whether or not he still collects items from around town to put in his house . Maybe . In a way , I hope so .

You want to make something and call it art —– fine . But , when you find something , drag it home , put it somewhere —— do you call it art ?   If   you call it art you’d better have an explanation  , I suppose , be able to ramble on in illuminating and haughty  tones about why , exactly ,  it’s art . Act superior , because you , educated and/or expert in art , know what art is and what isn’t art . The rest of us just know what we like ; ignorantly think we know art when we see it and think we know humbug when we see it .

Maybe just drag a piece of hillside across town ( the huge expense is irrelevant for  the moment ) , build a platform on your museum grounds ( the huge expense ……… )  , and let it sit there with no  explanation . Provide no explanation whatsoever . Well , maybe , that’s  art . ( Although the piece of junk is still a piece of junk  , the wire is still just tangled wire , the rock is still a rock  ) But please don’t lecture the rest of us on how it’s amazing art . Maybe sometimes a cigar is just a cigar , after all , a tangle of wire is just a tangle of wire ……………

You artists : Am I getting warmer  ?

No ? Okey .

Can you imagine the gaping stack of hubris  it takes to sell the idea of moving a big scoop of hillside across southern California , along Los Angeles streets , over to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art grounds , touting  it as great art , and finding the funds to pull it all off ?  Amazing !  I don’t know art , but I know the art of the  con  when I see it .

I told you at the start it’s just my opinion . So , you’ve got another opinion .  Okey . By the way , there’s a cliff up along the  Angeles Crest Highway that you might be interested in for your living room .  Let’s talk .

I remember when the piece of mountain was being moved along city streets to the museum . It was a real big deal . I don’t remember the  cost of the whole thing . The artist and the museum had , evidently , planned this project for years . Had to wait for just the right chunk of rock . How exciting ! Finally the artwork was coming ! It was all so —— do they still use avant- garde ?

Artwork ?  I’m no artist . Probably an army of artists is already sniffing and scoffing at my pedestrian opinion . I have no business criticizing a piece of art . I’ll agree to that analysis because I don’t .

I hate to have to resort to this statement , but I know what I like . I don’t like this big hunk of rock . I don’t like it for a couple of reasons . One : waste of money .  Two :

Two is a little more complicated . Two requires me to suggest a measure of humbug trickery employed here by a group of influential people in the art community . It’s a joke , right ?  Not a subtle one , either . It’s right out there in front of our faces . In front of the world’s face . Look : This is the LA art scene !  Here it is ! Take it !

The joke is hiding in plain sight . It’s a form of the Big Lie .  It’s the fairy tale  king parading around in his underwear believing he’s showing off his gorgeous royal getup  but  he’s been tricked into believing that .   Maybe I’m being a little unfair ?  Believe what you will .  You’ve  paid your entry fee to the Museum of Art , so go for it ! Enjoy . Walk under it . It may change your life .

Welcome  to LA .

By the way , I’ve got a bridge that crosses an arroyo in Pasadena that you might like to buy . Or , even better , maybe a piece of the arroyo ?suicide br. 1920

So , there you have it . One man’s opinion . Live with it .


Filed under humor

4 responses to “art ( or art not )

  1. Maybe it’s art because an artist stood there and told the machine operator where to put the rock. Here in Hartford, we paid a ton of money to arrange 18 rocks in a triangular pattern (get this) on a triangular plot of ground. Seriously – Even the artists are entitled to their opinions.

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