I was shopping for paper towels yesterday at the Dollar Store . Everything there’s a dollar ; but , of course , there are exceptions . Greeting cards are less than a dollar . Probably there are a few other non-dollar items . I haven’t checked everything .
I was perusing the food section yesterday , December 31 , 2014 , just for fun . I noticed two different canned beef stews . I have always wondered about canned beef stews . I used to see canned beef stews from Argentina . Are they all from Argentina ? Lots of cattle in Argentina , I guess . I have probably tasted canned beef stew once in my life ; no doubt during college days . Evidently canned beef stew didn’t thrill me . I ain’t got no memory of the experience except a nagging , vague notion that it wasn’t particularly tasty .
Canned beef stews are part of those many mysteries-to-me in my life , one of those blank areas , probably better off not explored . Now , I may get curious and buy a dollar’s -worth of canned beef stew soon one of these days , heat it up , and chew it up . I may regret it . On the other hand it may be wonderful , a delight , something fabulous that I’ve been missing all these years . It’s 2015 now , after all . Right ? Canned beef stew might could be something what the new year
dragged brings in .
Next to the two types of canned beef stew at the Dollar Store were cans of Gravy Train . Now , I know what Gravy Train is . I guess I know it from old TV commercials decades ago . Gravy Train is dog food . The cans , though , up there on the top shelf next to the canned beef stews , just above the chicken dumpling soup , near the little cans of Vienna Sausage , didn’t scream : dog food ! For a second or so I wondered if some unsuspecting , probably foreign , company was producing canned beef stew with the dog food name . That would be an interesting twist of fate .
I picked up a can of Gravy Train , put on my Dollar Store spectacles , and read the label . Okay , yeah . ” For dogs and cats “.
Okay . Certain questions arose . Inquiring minds want to know . ( Or is it ‘enquiring’ minds ? ) Has the economy sunk to such a level that dog and cat food is now marketed as a cheaper alternative to human food ? Could be . Unlikely , though . Even I am not so unforgivingly and irretrievably cynical to think the Dollar Store bosses would be so brazen . But , hey ! , this country has been slipping it’s mental moorings over the last several years , hasn’t it ? Torture , for example , is now not torture as long as the torturers are pure-of-heart patriots with the right intentions . Right ? Their little torturing black hearts are , after all , in the right place . So it’s all good ? I won’t mention Guantanamo at all here , or the so called ‘black sites’ around the world , but you know what I mean . We’ve been torturing that old Constitution of ours lately . What ! I’m the only one thinking like this ? Do you love Congress , too ? Think they’re right on target ? You know what I mean .
Anyway , politics aside , I stood there for a few moments in the food aisle of that Dollar Store , reviewing the last several years of U.S history , pondering important social , moral , and other significant changes on the last day of the year 2014 ( Assume the use of our calendar , of course . Other calendar schemes will not work , as far as I know . Is ours the Julian calendar ? However , I must tell you that other calendars take their places next to canned beef stews on my ( crowded ) mysteries-to-me shelf. Just so you know .[ By other calendars , by the way , I don’t mean the ones that real estate agents send in the mail and I’m not referring to the variety of cute little kitten calendars , or exotic beaches , or babes , or famous trains , or Native California Flowers calendars , etc. Just so we’re clear . ] ie, I refer only to the last day of the year on Julian’s calendar . )
I mentioned my dog- food-on-the-people- food -shelf discovery to one of the store employees . I skipped the employee who was busily shelving something . I skipped the busy checkout clerk with the big permanent smile . I chose to ask the woman nearby who wore a slightly different -looking store shirt . She was doing much of nothing but was doing it with an air of authority , so I suspected that she was the store manager . ” I have a comment ,” I said , and all three of them looked a me . The shelver stopped shelving . The checkout clerk smiled wider .
What ? No one announces a comment ordinarily ? It’s a cause for curiosity , for attention , for trepidation , perhaps ?
Anyhow. I told them all , since they were all suddenly staring at me , about the dog food on the human-food shelf . Simple statement of information presented in a friendly manner ; and then I waited .
Oh , wouldn’t it have been fantastic , in a way , to be told that this was the new store policy . ” Saves customers the trouble of checking two places for their economical meals ,” she might have said . ( Only , she would have said ‘guests’ instead of ‘customers’ . Store customers have in recent years become store guests . That’s a whole other blog post sometime in the future ! )
But , she said instead ( to the checkout clerk ) : ” Oh , he’s done it again ! ” Some poorly-paid employee apparently was too young or wasn’t in the country back when Gravy Train was advertised on TV . I felt sorry for the guy , whomever he is , because the Gravy Train cans look like the beef stew cans . I’m guessing the taste is more-or-less the same too . I’m not going to do the taste test , but maybe the Gravy Train tastes better .
HAVE A FANTASTIC YEAR .