ghosts & guardian angels

I guess no one would call a guardian angel a ghost . But guardian angels are invisible , aren’t they ? ; and they’re around . Well , I’m not sure mine is around any more . Mine’s most likely long -ago retired . I forgot to ask the nuns back when I was five what happens about that —- does a kid’s guardian angel stick around ’til the bitter end ?

My religious education , I will admit , is a bit sketchy and weak . It’s not that the nuns tried . They did . And I picked up what I needed to know , I guess , back there in elementary school . Grammar school , I should perhaps say , instead of elementary . My friend Joe and I , it seems , had this discussion a couple of years ago . But , anyway , to quasi – quote Arty Doyle : It’s either grammar or elementary  , my dear Watson .

My guardian angel was a pretty good one , I guess . Here I am , after all , after all these years , pretty much okay . Proof is in the pudding ? Could have been worse . Well , now that I’m thinking of it ………….there were a few times………………….. I’m not one to go around blaming things on my guardian angel , though . So , let’s just move along . This post’s topic is ghosts , after all , and not guardian angels .

One guardian angel thing before we go , though : We kids had to leave a space between us on the pew in church so our guardian angels had room to sit next to us . It was a nun rule based on nun-knowledge . That one bit of trivia  might give you a hint about  my religious education and how bits of esoteric spiritual wisdom seeped into my soul . But , that’s another post for another day .

I wouldn’t describe myself as lacking in confidence , but I will say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. ———–John Malkovich

I don’t believe in ghosts . But that doesn’t mean that they’re not out there anyway .model hair down 1895

Another thing that I learned in grammar school is that people who have died  watch me , especially relatives . They’d like to know that I’ll do right ,stay out of trouble , and that sort of thing . They can see it all happen , of course , when I goof up . A  little intimidation goes a long way . A touch of control from beyond the grave . Predecessors and ancestors watching and judging .

I suppose there was a time when I was slightly haunted by these beliefs , if not by the ancestors . I’m not putting it down , though . It was okay . Childish , but okay . Much in my childhood was childish . I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be .

There may be ghosts in the neighborhood , whether I think so or not . I get that feeling  occasionally . The cop murdered around the corner back in 1927 , for example . A little presence also , perhaps , of my old neighbors Bing , from across the street , and Rex , who lived next door . Rex’s house is being torn down so a bigger house can be put up . I suppose Rex doesn’t mind , though . He hadn’t built the house , after all , and he had been a builder , too .

Ghosts , I think , apparently , don’t appear . After all , they’re ghosts . They’re spirits . Like why the skeleton decided not to go to the party :  He had no body to go with . So they , most likely , don’t make noises or cause cold breezes . They may exist ; but they’re not there . I know ; I know .  That doesn’t seem to make sense .x-MAS 047

Wait . I’ll try to contact my guardian angel and I’ll ask about ghosts . But , on the other hand , maybe I shouldn’t . Nun ghosts might suddenly swirl around with blackboard- drawn circle souls . Some of the circle will be scribbled in with a mass of chalk . You know what I mean , don’t you ? If not , then where did YOU get your religious education ?  Sin , man ! When a person sins the soul gets a little more full of chalk . That soul is already in trouble ; but wait until the circle soul fills up with chalk ! Hell , man ! ( I think . )  There’s venial sin and then there’s mortal sin . Ask my friend Joe about the difference. He knows . My older sister would know , too . Nuns would know , too , of course , if you could find some these days . I think they’d know . If not , I suppose they could Google it .

Anyway , I think that I should stop here , in the middle of this mess . My guardian angel , still here as it happens , is getting decidedly pissed off . There are signs . Didn’t you feel that sudden rush of cold air ? My ancestors are probably shaking their heads as they look down on me , too . Well , maybe they should be  looking at my guardian angel instead of me . That old angel  maybe should’ve steered my in another direction some time ago .  .

In one aspect , yes , I believe in ghosts , but we create them — We haunt ourselves .——–Laurie H. Anderson .


Filed under humor

2 responses to “ghosts & guardian angels

  1. Now you have me wondering if there’s a special nun-google. This was a great way to start the day. I’ll try to give my guardian angel a rest for a while today. He’s probably shaking his head saying “why is he reading stuff like this?” – Nice one!

    • Thank you , Dan . There is a nun-google ; but , of course, it’s not .com . My guardian angel seems to be shaking its head as if to say I shouldn’t reveal the nun-google address . Sorry .

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