Dirty wine

This is rude , so be fore-warned .

Strong Language

Wine brands, especially in the upstart, insecure New World, used to strain to sound serious and Frenchy-fancy. You had your Domains, your Clos, your Chateaus (“Pure Sonoma”!). Even five-dollar plonk could seem classy if it had a ridge or a mountain or a gate in its name. As James Thurber’s wine snob put it in the famous 1944 New Yorker cartoon, we may have been drinking naïve domestic Burgundy, but at least we could be amused by its presumption.

If Thurber were cartooning today, he’d change that last word to presumptuousness. Because inappropriate language—from vulgarity to suggestiveness to scatology—is the hottest trend in wine branding.

Here’s a survey of rude wine names, in alphabetical rude-word order. (And, since you asked, I know a bunch of rude beer brands, too. I’m sticking to wine this time.)

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Filed under humor

2 responses to “Dirty wine

  1. A couple of summers ago on a return trip from Eastern Washington I stopped off at Hood River to rest from driving with a walk around town. I paused (like a comma) at Naked Winery. Take a peek: http://www.nakedwinery.com/Wines/White
    The prose of wine labels is like that of realty ads: buried beneath the flowery words and misleading headings you smell the reality of dirty bare feet that have for years stomped sour grapes into the floor.

    • I hope you mean ” you smell ” figuratively . I’m not much of a wine person , anyhoo . And , further , I can’t imagine that type of marketing working effectively . Seems more of a novelty motivation to buy the stuff . Thanks for the comment.

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