troubleshootin’

Our tv suddenly decided to eliminate sound . The sound didn’t just break down completely . That would have made some sense .No , it began to tease us , trying to annoy us . A VOLUME scale appeared ( out of nowhere ) on the left of the screen . I was able to raise the volume if I pressed the button on the side of the tv . I could raise it to %100, but as soon as I let go of the button the volume dropped rapidly to zero . We could watch the downfall on the scale at the left of the screen .

I tried the ‘turn-it-off-and-turn-it-on’ technique several times .   No dice . Then I began to try all the little magical strategies to see what might miraculously work . I turned it off for a longer period of time . I pressed the VOLUME  button a few times rapidly . I tried this again and pressed the MENU button afterward . I did this again but held the VOLUME as I pressed MENU . I danced a little repair tv dance . It’s like a rain dance only different.  I held back on the cursing , though . I’ve found that cursing 1. doesn’t work , and , 2.  only encourages the tv or computer or whatever to continue it’s bad behavior.

Sometimes the best strategy is to sleep on it ; let it go until tomorrow. That , surprisingly and inconceivably , sometimes works . Ada was recommending that approach about the time that I was reconsidering my cursing policy . I gave up , temporarily , my investigations .  Knowing nothing about electronics makes it easier , perhaps , to retreat in the face of heavy opposition. Besides , I might just dream up a solution .welders

It occurred to me overnight that I should fight fire with fire . I got on that laptop to find a solution . It turns out a bunch of people were having the same problem . All of our  tvs were about five years old . Volume dropping mysteriously . Professional techs were attempting to address the problem with suggestions . The suggestions weren’t working . One tech then replied ” You’re not doing it right ” . Not much of a teacher , that guy ! Frustration was rising . Comments were from three years ago . One year ago .  Then , a guy named Joe wrote in to the forum to give his home-made solution : Take the back of the tv off and disconnect the plug to the tv buttons . Use only the remote from then on . Works great , he said . Several poor suckers suffering from the volume -dropping problem tried Joe’s solution and they reported equal success .

I was ready . I had my battle plan ready if a few more ‘turn-off-turn-on” tries got me nowhere . The tv maker’s website said to hit the MENU button and try to reset the tv . I tried it . I tried it gain . I switched Dolby sound on the screen off and then on . Or , maybe it was on and then off . I tried to set it back to what it had been so I don’t totally mess up the settings without having a clue what does what .

The tv was scared . I could tell .  It probably figured : here’s a guy not afraid to start doing major electronic surgery without a clue what he’s doing . That was enough , I guess , to make the tv reconsider it’s vicious little game . Two can play at the annoy-noy game . I’m retired . I’ve got plenty of time to fool with the tv , if that’s what it wants . Suddenly that realization sank in, I think , and the beast surrendered . The volume stays put . No more fooling around , slipping back down .

Game Over : human wins . Mark this one down for posterity. One point for the human race .

Sculptures on display on San Diego's Embarcadero near Tuna Harbor.

5 Comments

Filed under humor

5 responses to “troubleshootin’

  1. Reblogged this on No Facilities and commented:
    Man vs. Machine and Man wins! I love Dan’s posts and this one is a great way to start the week. I feel like I can do anything now.

  2. This left me feeling like I can do anything. Such a great post for a Monday morning that I reblogged it on No Facilities – Good job Dan!

  3. Very amusing. My TV went through a phase where it would mysteriously turn itself on and off, on and off, for no apparent reason, and none of the controls worked. I would turn it off, it came back on. If it was off, I would turn it on, and then it would turn itself off, only to come back again a few seconds later.

    The TV won – temporarily. I gave up fiddling with it and finally just unplugged it and took it back to the store (it was less than a year old). The TV is no more. Human wins again.

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