I had a dream about you. You were storing my brain in a pickle jar in the fridge and I only discovered it when I went to garnish my hamburger . —-Jarod Kintz
Sometimes a guy needs a good hamburger .
The urge may not come often , but , while hanging around in a hamburgerless land for awhile , the unexpected urge may suddenly hit . I know . I’ve felt it . I felt like that old Popeye character Wimpy , stumbling around town looking for a hamburger . I felt it last year big time after being a couple of months away from the USA.
Poland is a world away from the cold hard reality of American hamburgers.
I hunted last year for a good burger after the urge eventually got me in it’s merciless grip . I searched high and I searched low . I search here and I searched there . I searched the meadows and I searched the dells. I looked under the beds and in the back of the closets . I almost found one , too , after trying a few disaster/imposter “hamburgers”. What I eventually found after all of that hinting would have to do . It looked like a burger , at least , but it was a poor imitation of the real thing .
I’m not blaming the Polish . What do they know about a good ol’ American burger ? Why should they ! I can’t really complain when the signs above the food stands say ” Hamburger ” and the thing served is even in someone’s wildest imagination not even close . It’s probably tasty , that Polish thing , whatever it is , but it ain’t a burger . Wimpy would never have been content with it .
Well , this year’s good news is that I found a burger here in Szczecin worthy of the name . It’s prepared and sold from a little food truck owned and operated by two brothers . They call their business Bro. Burgers , and I have to say they’ve earned the name .
I came upon them by chance while walking around the city . They were busy . A small crowd had gathered . The buns toasting on the grill looked like real American-style hamburger buns ! That’s a clue that these guys knew hamburgers . I wondered about the meat , though . The burgers looked good but maybe the meat tasted funky . One never knows . What twinkles brightly in the sunlight is not always gold, eh ? . I decided to try the truck burgers another day . I’d let the dream roll around in my noggin in the meantime . I’d let the burger hope simmer for awhile . I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high in the meantime .
But , today that day came , and I tried a Bro. Burger burger . I ordered a ” Mariachi ” . It had jalapeno and onions , tomato and mayonaise , and it was good . It was very good . It cost fourteen zloty , which is about $ 4.25 . I could have had a number of other choices , but my Polish is
not good enough non-existent, and I wasn’t sure just what the other choices included , so I thought I’d stick with the Mariachi .
I told the guy in the truck what a great burger it was . It was the least I could do . I was representing everyone over in the USA when I delivered that message , I knew , so it was a big responsibility . My praise was accepted graciously . International relations between our two countries, you’ll be happy to know , appear to be doing well .
Poles still need to acquire a visa to visit the USA , though . The French don’t need a visa . The Czechs don’t need a visa . The Germans don’t need a visa . The Slovenians………………….That’s a sticking point even a good hamburger can’t resolve .