count your blessings

When the phone rings in my house it’s a salesman nine times out of ten . Maybe ninety-nine times out of a hundred . Well , more realistically , somewhere in between —– maybe forty-nine times out of fifty . Thirty-nine out of forty ?

The one this morning was a robot voice . I thought it was a real man for a few seconds . They’ve  really got the voice right , the cues pretty good . It started with :

” It has come to our attention that you have recently inquired about Social Security benefits . ”

No , not really . I haven’t . But go on .

” Is this Daniel  ? ”

“Yes . ”

carved indian face

” Good . ” (short pause ) .  This was my clue. The sound of  ‘good’ sounded just a little bit canned .

” Is this bigger than a bread box ? ” I said .

(short pause )   ” No. ”

” Does it take place in California ? ”

(short pause ) ” No. ”

At this point I walked close to Ada so that she could listen . She likes engaging these phone solicitors in endless conversation.

” Are there kangaroos involved ? ” I asked .

” I’m sorry , I didn’t quite get that , ” said the human-sounding robot . ” Could you repeat that . ”

” Are there kangaroos involved ? ”

Evidently , these robots don’t mind idiotic questions . It takes them a few seconds to find a response , but they have responses programmed for any eventuality , I guess .

My imagination was suddenly taxed , though . Could I come up with endless stupid questions to be answered politely by the robot voice ? How long could this go on ? four men depression era

Eventually the robot hung up on me . Maybe they’re under a time constraint . Business is business , after all , and time is money . depression photo man and truck.jpg

I was considering not posting something for Thanksgiving . I usually don’t do topical stuff . I leave that to others , who do so much better with those occasions than I could do .  But , this Thanksgiving I decided to violate my custom and give a little bit of Thanksgiving advice : COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS  ! You could have been a robot voice having to put up with some silly jerk asking endless and  annoying questions , getting nowhere ; but there you are having to put up with it , being robotically calm  , patient , and professional . We should be thankful for what we have . Others are worse off.








Filed under humor

4 responses to “count your blessings

  1. Now I’m going to lie awake trying to figure out what, in California, would be bigger than a breadbox and involve kangaroos. This may take a while. Maybe it would take less time to count my blessings. Happy Thanksgiving Dan (in case you remain silent on the day).

  2. Kangaroos are always involved, Watson just didn’t want to admit it.

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