cat cosmo


Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function —-Garrison Keillor


I been tryin’ to teach my cat Cosmo to think outside the box (somebody should !), but she sits around all day waiting only for food . Food and more food !cosmo in box 2

How about going out and catching a mouse ? That’s what cats are  s’posed to do , isn’t it ? Or is that notion simply a myth ?  Folklore ? Old wives’ tale ? Well , you will tell me , no doubt , when I squawk about this : Cats  just play with mice ; they don’t eat them .

No. I think real cats eat mice . I tell Cosmo : Cat-up and go out to find a mouse !cosmo coyote fighter 018

But no .

When , when was it that real cats gave up the old traditions and in our modern world  became such pussies ?  I’ll bet Egyptian cats , or Iraqi cats , or maybe rural Lithuanian cats ,or Turkish cats , or cats on the south side of Chicago , somewhere ,  still go out and hunt prey . Could be wrong about that , however .

Cosmo whines and talks to us until we reach for a can of cat food . Yeah , Ada and I are enablers , of course . Our friend Sally told me Cosmos howls . I don’t think she howls , but she talks passionately and assertively from time to time , especially when she’s hungry . That’s for sure .2 cats

How come it’s a Dog Eat Dog world but no one mentions Cat Eat Cat ? And , by the way , I think dogs bite one another but don’t often eat one another . Cats bite too . And scratch , of course . There are cat fights , naturally , and cat scratch fever . And , cats on hot tin roofs , and all the cats wanna dance with sweet little sixteen , but   no one I know of  says : It’s a Cat’s Life . IMG_3040

My cat , Cosmo , is female . She may have a masculine name , but so be it ;  it is what it is . She’s lived with it . She’s called “he” all the time by people , but Cosmo doesn’t seem to notice . She ignores people equally  and with equanimity  .cosmo in box

She’d be an avid  reader too , I’m sure , if she ever learned to read .She’d read the classics, I think .  Maybe she’d be on Facebook . She’s a dreamer , evidently , sleeping most of the day and night  snoring and moving sometimes as if engaged in some sudden dream-world activity .  Cosmo might be a fierce hunter in her dreams , for all I know.  Cosmo may even sleepwalk . I’ve never been sure .

Who knows ! I don’t know . I don’t know what cats think  . Someone said something about the inexplicity ( inexplicability ? , inexplicableness ? ) of women and cats , and that  we dogs and men better just relax and accept it .

George Carlin said : Meow means woof in cat .  But George didn’t know . He was just joking . Ada claims that when a cat looks you in the eye and blinks , it means something . I think it means the feline  loves and admires you and promises to  follow you through thick and thin . But maybe not.

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Filed under humor

10 responses to “cat cosmo

  1. When the cats on the south side of Chicago look at you and blink, you better start moving.

  2. With the cats I’ve had over the years, they are either a mouser or not (individual personalities like the rest of us). I did have one that brought me a “gift” of a mouse, but when I refused to answer his persist whines and open the door, he ate the brains! (sorry, I hope you weren’t having breakfast as you read this!)

  3. Nice one Dan. For my money cats are a lot like teenagers; they live in your house for free, lounge around all day, eat your food, never listen when you talk, and treat you with indifference or disregard when you try to reason with them 😉

  4. When I was a kid, our outdoor cats definitely hunted. They left us the choicest bits on the front doormat.

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