Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function —-Garrison Keillor
I been tryin’ to teach my cat Cosmo to think outside the box (somebody should !), but she sits around all day waiting only for food . Food and more food !
How about going out and catching a mouse ? That’s what cats are s’posed to do , isn’t it ? Or is that notion simply a myth ? Folklore ? Old wives’ tale ? Well , you will tell me , no doubt , when I squawk about this : Cats just play with mice ; they don’t eat them .
No. I think real cats eat mice . I tell Cosmo : Cat-up and go out to find a mouse !
But no .
When , when was it that real cats gave up the old traditions and in our modern world became such pussies ? I’ll bet Egyptian cats , or Iraqi cats , or maybe rural Lithuanian cats ,or Turkish cats , or cats on the south side of Chicago , somewhere , still go out and hunt prey . Could be wrong about that , however .
Cosmo whines and talks to us until we reach for a can of cat food . Yeah , Ada and I are enablers , of course . Our friend Sally told me Cosmos howls . I don’t think she howls , but she talks passionately and assertively from time to time , especially when she’s hungry . That’s for sure .
How come it’s a Dog Eat Dog world but no one mentions Cat Eat Cat ? And , by the way , I think dogs bite one another but don’t often eat one another . Cats bite too . And scratch , of course . There are cat fights , naturally , and cat scratch fever . And , cats on hot tin roofs , and all the cats wanna dance with sweet little sixteen , but no one I know of says : It’s a Cat’s Life .
My cat , Cosmo , is female . She may have a masculine name , but so be it ; it is what it is . She’s lived with it . She’s called “he” all the time by people , but Cosmo doesn’t seem to notice . She ignores people equally and with equanimity .
She’d be an avid reader too , I’m sure , if she ever learned to read .She’d read the classics, I think . Maybe she’d be on Facebook . She’s a dreamer , evidently , sleeping most of the day and night snoring and moving sometimes as if engaged in some sudden dream-world activity . Cosmo might be a fierce hunter in her dreams , for all I know. Cosmo may even sleepwalk . I’ve never been sure .
Who knows ! I don’t know . I don’t know what cats think . Someone said something about the inexplicity ( inexplicability ? , inexplicableness ? ) of women and cats , and that we dogs and men better just relax and accept it .
George Carlin said : Meow means woof in cat . But George didn’t know . He was just joking . Ada claims that when a cat looks you in the eye and blinks , it means something . I think it means the feline loves and admires you and promises to follow you through thick and thin . But maybe not.