irish car bomb

I know ; I know . Saint Patrick’s Day is gone . Nevertheless , I will give you a little Paddy Day advice . Take it or leave it .

I’m not one for mixed drinks , or exotic drinks . I like margaritas , but haven’t had one for a long time . I stick with beer , and a little whiskey now and then .

Friends of mine drink  martinis with twists of lemon . Shaken , not stirred , and all that , I guess . I never pay attention . I sometimes buy them their special tonic , though . Tonic makes all the difference , I guess . And how the lemon peel is cut , maybe . Then you probably have to swirl the mixture  just the right way , I think , and sip it at just the right angle , mouth to glass . The type of glass matters , too , of course . It’s a tricky deal to mix a good martini , now that I think of it .

People do the same thing with beer . Some people . Not my people ; but some people . Bottle’s got to be green and not brown . Certain temperature . Not too cold . From a glass , for some , rather than a stein , because part of the experience is visual . Maybe it was from a brown bottle , not green . Clear bottles are probably out ,  at any rate . I’m not schooled properly on the whole thing . I’ll admit that .

I picked up some real estate publications  at lake Arrowhead recently . Not that I plan to buy one of the multi-million dollar lakeside mansions there  any time soon ; but I like to stay abreast of prices of things I’ll never have . Makes me appreciate what I do have . Everything’s relative . Mere millionaires are continually being put to shame by billionaires these days , I hear . The poor millionaires slink around like second -rate citizens , shamelessly shunned at billionaire meetings ,  or something like that . I don’t have to worry about that , though , so I’m okay .

Anyway , I found a little recipe at the corner of a page in one of these real estate pamphlets for Irish Car Bomb . It was easy to snip out , it being small and on the corner of the page , so I snipped it out and stuck it in my wallet . You’ve probably heard the TV ad that asks : ” What’s in your wallet ?” Well , in my case ,  now you know . That car bomb recipe and a couple twenty-dollar bills that degrade quickly , mysteriously , into fives and ones when I’m not looking . 1945, first atomic bomb dropped

The day after St. Patrick’s day I decided to try the Irish Car Bomb recipe . I wouldn’t do it on the day itself for several reasons . First , this ‘car bomb’ stuff is not politically correct , for one , and dredges up stereotypes of the Irish , and glorifies violence . That kind of stuff . When I was first in Poland , years ago , and my friends over there spoke no English , one of them used to say to me , pointing at me , ” Irish . Boom , boom . ” He thought it was very funny . A connection .  Second reason not on St. Patrick’s Day is  , as I’ve said , I’m not one for exotic drinks . This is slightly exotic . Or , just weird .

Here’s the recipe :

Serves ; 1

Ingredients :

3/4 fluid Irish whiskey

3/4 fluid ounce Irish cream liqueur

6 fluid ounces Irish stout beer

Directions:

Fill a shot glass with half Irish whiskey and half Irish cream.

Pour the Irish stout beer into a pint glass. Drop in the shot glass and drink entire contents at once ! Please drink responsibly . 

Now , I should point out ,  I’ve left the typos in . The person who transcribed the recipe may have already had a couple of these car bombs before writing the thing down . When I make a mistake I’m willing to own up to it ; but , I don’t feel like being blamed for someone else’s mistakes . At least not in this case .

I realized that I indeed had all three ingredients for this drink , at the same time , it having been indigestionSt. Patrick’s Day the day before , and that it would be now or never . Curiosity got the better of me . I mixed up the stuff and told Ada what I was about to do . Just in case .

” How is it ? ” Ada asked after I had the thing mixed and tasted.

It’s no good at all . The Irish cream curdles in the Guinness , first of all . Makes for a frothy but kind of a spoiled mess at the top . The whiskey goes to waste waiting at the bottom of the glass , swamped by the stout . The stout drowns in the whitish froth . Don’t ever make an Irish Car Bomb . Stay away from bombs altogether , if you ask me .

I didn’t really do the bomb , though . I’ll admit that . When the recipe says ‘drop the shot glass’ it means drop the shot glass . Drop it into the pint glass . College kid stuff , maybe . Somewhat unsanitary , anyway , I think . Stupid . Ridiculous . Of course , that little negligence on my part might have meant all the difference . Maybe , had I dropped the shot glass with the booze into the glass of Guinness and then drunk the entire contents at once , as the recipe told me to do ,  I might  have experienced a  surprisingly delicious and refreshing drink . Maybe , in my next life , I’ll test that theory out .

I don’t usually give advice ; but , in this case , I feel compelled to  say :  don’t use real estate brochures to find  Saint Patrick’s Day drink recipes . And please drink responsibly .

 

 

 

9 Comments

Filed under humor

9 responses to “irish car bomb

  1. “Popped corks, splashes of beerfroth, stacks of empties.
    O, WON’T WE HAVE A MERRY TIME,
    DRINKING WHISKY, BEER AND WINE!
    ON CORONATION,
    CORONATION DAY!
    O, WON’T WE HAVE A MERRY TIME
    ON CORONATION DAY!”

  2. Your sympathy for the poor lowly millionaires had me laughing, and the description of the drink had me grimacing. That sounds just awful. Good for you for giving it a go!

  3. Dan, Again, I say you are a born storyteller, and a funny one at that. Whenever you decide to compile a selection of your tales into a publishable collection, I vote that this one should be included, original title intact.

  4. My father tended bar in Pittsburgh in the 70s when the joke was “What’s the favorite mixed drink in Pittsburgh…Ans: a shot and a beer.” Guys would come into the bar, order a shot and a beer and quite a few would drop the shot glass into the beer and drink them both. I never thought about the sanitary part. Then again, the bar was kind of a dive, so…

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