I know ; I know . Saint Patrick’s Day is gone . Nevertheless , I will give you a little Paddy Day advice . Take it or leave it .
I’m not one for mixed drinks , or exotic drinks . I like margaritas , but haven’t had one for a long time . I stick with beer , and a little whiskey now and then .
Friends of mine drink martinis with twists of lemon . Shaken , not stirred , and all that , I guess . I never pay attention . I sometimes buy them their special tonic , though . Tonic makes all the difference , I guess . And how the lemon peel is cut , maybe . Then you probably have to swirl the mixture just the right way , I think , and sip it at just the right angle , mouth to glass . The type of glass matters , too , of course . It’s a tricky deal to mix a good martini , now that I think of it .
People do the same thing with beer . Some people . Not my people ; but some people . Bottle’s got to be green and not brown . Certain temperature . Not too cold . From a glass , for some , rather than a stein , because part of the experience is visual . Maybe it was from a brown bottle , not green . Clear bottles are probably out , at any rate . I’m not schooled properly on the whole thing . I’ll admit that .
I picked up some real estate publications at lake Arrowhead recently . Not that I plan to buy one of the multi-million dollar lakeside mansions there any time soon ; but I like to stay abreast of prices of things I’ll never have . Makes me appreciate what I do have . Everything’s relative . Mere millionaires are continually being put to shame by billionaires these days , I hear . The poor millionaires slink around like second -rate citizens , shamelessly shunned at billionaire meetings , or something like that . I don’t have to worry about that , though , so I’m okay .
Anyway , I found a little recipe at the corner of a page in one of these real estate pamphlets for Irish Car Bomb . It was easy to snip out , it being small and on the corner of the page , so I snipped it out and stuck it in my wallet . You’ve probably heard the TV ad that asks : ” What’s in your wallet ?” Well , in my case , now you know . That car bomb recipe and a couple twenty-dollar bills that degrade quickly , mysteriously , into fives and ones when I’m not looking .
The day after St. Patrick’s day I decided to try the Irish Car Bomb recipe . I wouldn’t do it on the day itself for several reasons . First , this ‘car bomb’ stuff is not politically correct , for one , and dredges up stereotypes of the Irish , and glorifies violence . That kind of stuff . When I was first in Poland , years ago , and my friends over there spoke no English , one of them used to say to me , pointing at me , ” Irish . Boom , boom . ” He thought it was very funny . A connection . Second reason not on St. Patrick’s Day is , as I’ve said , I’m not one for exotic drinks . This is slightly exotic . Or , just weird .
Here’s the recipe :
Serves ; 1
3/4 fluid Irish whiskey
3/4 fluid ounce Irish cream liqueur
6 fluid ounces Irish stout beer
Fill a shot glass with half Irish whiskey and half Irish cream.
Pour the Irish stout beer into a pint glass. Drop in the shot glass and drink entire contents at once ! Please drink responsibly .
Now , I should point out , I’ve left the typos in . The person who transcribed the recipe may have already had a couple of these car bombs before writing the thing down . When I make a mistake I’m willing to own up to it ; but , I don’t feel like being blamed for someone else’s mistakes . At least not in this case .
I realized that I indeed had all three ingredients for this drink , at the same time , it having been St. Patrick’s Day the day before , and that it would be now or never . Curiosity got the better of me . I mixed up the stuff and told Ada what I was about to do . Just in case .
” How is it ? ” Ada asked after I had the thing mixed and tasted.
It’s no good at all . The Irish cream curdles in the Guinness , first of all . Makes for a frothy but kind of a spoiled mess at the top . The whiskey goes to waste waiting at the bottom of the glass , swamped by the stout . The stout drowns in the whitish froth . Don’t ever make an Irish Car Bomb . Stay away from bombs altogether , if you ask me .
I didn’t really do the bomb , though . I’ll admit that . When the recipe says ‘drop the shot glass’ it means drop the shot glass . Drop it into the pint glass . College kid stuff , maybe . Somewhat unsanitary , anyway , I think . Stupid . Ridiculous . Of course , that little negligence on my part might have meant all the difference . Maybe , had I dropped the shot glass with the booze into the glass of Guinness and then drunk the entire contents at once , as the recipe told me to do , I might have experienced a surprisingly delicious and refreshing drink . Maybe , in my next life , I’ll test that theory out .
I don’t usually give advice ; but , in this case , I feel compelled to say : don’t use real estate brochures to find Saint Patrick’s Day drink recipes . And please drink responsibly .