Dan : What’ve you been up to , Cosmo ?
Cosmo : Oh , it’s you . I’m just relaxing .
Dan : So , what else is new ?
Cosmo : It’s been a tough few days . Too hot !
Dan : Have you even been outside ?
Cosmo : Plenty .
Dan : I haven’t seen you outside .
Cosmo : Cats are stealthy , and you’re not overly observant . Just saying !
Dan: You know , they eat cats in China .
Cosmo : Dogs . They eat dogs some places in China . I’m not a dog .
Dan: But you play one on TV .
Cosmo : What ?
Dan : I’m thinking of the old commercial : ” I’m not a doctor , but I play one on TV .”
Cosmo : I don’t watch TV . I’d read if I knew how , though . I’m curious about computers , too , but , you know , there aren’t any cat classes for computer .
Dan : It’s a dog’s life !
Cosmo : I could teach stretching , though . Maybe a cat yoga course . What do you think ?
Dan : For other cats ?
Cosmo : Why do I waste my energy talking to you ! Cats ? Like anyone would have to teach a cat to stretch ! If you’re not ready to feed me , then please go away .
Dan : The class would be for dogs ?
Cosmo : I was just yanking your chain . I’m not going to teach a yoga class anytime soon . I need to take a nap right now , perchance to dream , so please , if you don’t mind , beat it .
Dan : Let me ask you something . Do you dream of chasing mice ? You make all kinds of movements when you sleep . I think you dream of chasing mice or maybe of catching birds .
Cosmo : No . I’m dreaming of flying through the air on magic carpets , singing in a choir , playing the fiddle with the philharmonic , and stuff like that . Mice ? Mice and birds ? Gross ! How long have you known me ? You really haven’t been paying attention , have you !
Dan : It’s a dog’s life .
Cosmo : Again , I’m not a dog . But , whatever ! Bye . Don’t let the door hit you on your way out .
Dan : Maybe I should get a dog . They’re man’s best friend . Not like cats .
Cosmo : Bon Appetit !