I’m as cheap as the next guy . Well , to be honest , usually I’m cheaper . Ada thinks it’s peculiar , for example , when I cut the little lip balm tube open with scissors in order to be able to squeeze the last little bit out . Well , hey , there are little kids in China who don’t even have lip balm , you know !
She tosses out the toothpaste tube way before it’s all used up , too . I like to get my money’s worth out of a product . We just disagree about how far to carry this notion .
There is one area , though , where Ada and I have somehow reversed our virtuous positions : soap . I continually find piles of old leftover too-small -to -use soap pieces clumped together as if they are pretending to be one bar of soap . They’re not one bar of soap . Evidently Ada holds on to the strange belief that old contiguous pieces of soap will stick together and can , therefore , be used as if they were a cohesive collection , as if they were one usable bar of soap .
It just doesn’t work .
Well , maybe it works for Ada . She claims that it does . I don’t know how that could be . For me the small little hardened shards of old soap immediately go their own ways when I pick the collection up . One might think that the individual members of this old -soaps collection would soften when wet and would join together in one harmonious conglomeration full of a glorious pursuit of happiness ; but , in my experience , that don’t happen . In my case , at least , that don’t never ever happen . Again , Ada claims a different experience .
Maybe I’m just not doing something right . Maybe I’m too rough on the poor little soap slivers . Maybe those surviving fragments want only to act in genuine unity to do us all the kind favor of washing our grubby skins , and here I come roughing them up and unnecessarily knocking them into separate pieces again . Could it be ? I’m not willing or able to accept that idea , however , no matter what Ada says .
I say : buy a new bar of soap ! It doesn’t cost much . Why be such a penny pincher ! It’s too much damn trouble to go through trying to keep that many different jiggery-pokery diversified pieces together . Besides , we have to keep the American economy cranking along , after all !
[ Don’t tell Ada about this post , please . She might give me hell about taking the toothpaste tube out of the trash today . ( There’s still at least a couple more day’s use in it ) .]