flying again again

It’s a slow insidious from of torture , of course .  We let them get away with it , though , a little bit more every year , until we’ve got what we’ve got . Less leg room . Thinner and harder seats that recline only far enough back to invade the space of the person behind you , but not nearly far enough to make the cramped passenger significantly more comfortable . Two passengers share , as best they can work it out , one hard armrest .airplane in hand

I can’t sleep on planes . I watched three movies and a TV show on the flight from London to LA . The woman sitting in the seat ahead asked if she could put her seat back . I was impressed by the fact that she had asked  . Usually the person simply releases the seat and it swings back abruptly with no fair warning . Usually , on top of that , the person in the seat ahead pushes his or her full body weight back into the chair  hoping ,    I suppose,  to force the tight little torture device  further back than the Nazi – inspired design master commercial aircraft engineers and their corporate overlords  had intended . That futile hope  doesn’t last for more than a bouncy second , or two,  or three .

I had what was classified as a cheap ticket . With a cheap ticket I wouldn’t be getting any meals in flight . It’s a ten hour flight , so Ada had packed me a nice lunch . But , what I didn’t expect  was that with the cheap flight the airline wouldn’t even fork over a complimentary cup of coffee or tea . Oh , sure , I could pay ( too much ) for one when  ‘ the snack bar ‘ was open , or I could have pre-ordered meals that included coffee . But I’m cheap , so I didn’t pre-order . IMG_7173

It wouldn’t have hurt the airline much , in my opinion , to spring for  a few coffees and teas to all of us passengers to sooth our tattered nerves a bit . But , no . None of those corporate executives wherever they are figured it might be a good public relations strategy , that the good will engendered might balance the expense of a  couple pots of coffee and tea . Or , more correctly , the avoidance of bad will , in my case , might have made it worthwhile .

I have several ideas for the airlines , that airline and other airlines might be interested in . They could put coin-operated toilet paper dispensers in the toilets , for example . $$$$$. When a passenger manages to squeeze down and squirm around in a seat and to somehow fall asleep then s/he  could be charged a sleep tax. Call it a bed tax or a luxury fee .

Maybe I should have been an airline executive . Never thought of it before now . After  my first couple of executive bonuses I would surely have acquired  enough dough to pre-order the meals for the flight to LA  . Ah ! , but hindsight is always  20/20 .


Filed under humor

2 responses to “flying again again

  1. Geeze Dan, don’t give them any more ideas. Next they’ll be putting a toll booth at the end of the Jet Bridge

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