my cat

I’m not really a cat person , but I have a cat . Well , I’ve always had cats since I’ve known Ada . Ada is the cat person , apparently .  Show her a kitten and she’s a goner .

My cat’s name is Cosmo and she’s old and a little too fat and  she’s lazy . She doesn’t get that from me , I should say right off the bat , so you won’t get the wrong idea and come to egregiously erroneous conclusions .  It’s just a coincidence that the beast and I  share a few common traits . I used to have black hair like hers , too , by the way , and I was also never very enthusiastic about chasing rats , either . And we both like chicken .cosmo in box

Ada was in Europe several years ago when Cosmo was , for whatever reason , out in the backyard about 4:00 am and  was attacked by a coyote . I heard the loud agonized screech and went running out . I almost stepped on Cosmo ,  who was lying on her side in the dirt,  bleeding . The attacker had had her in his mouth . I could infer that because there were deep wounds on either side of her .

I saw the coyote walking away , looking back at me with what seemed like a disappointed and spiteful  scowl . Coyotes are , as you may know , generally cowards . Sure , you get them in a pack and they show  a  dab of audacity , but  a wolf , as far as I know , or a bear , or a raccoon , or even most squirrels would have undoubtedly challenged me for the bloody meal , but not a lone coyote .

I thought  Cosmo was a goner for sure , and I waited for the final moment ; but she continued her weak and shallow breathing hour by hour . As soon as the vet office opened up that morning I was there with my dying cat .

I’ll skip all of the details about the vet experience for now and spew them out at another time ,  perhaps , and  for the moment I will , as they say , cut to the chase . [ What  does that expression come from , the old cowboy movies ?  Was the chase at the end , just before the hero kisses the girl , but you don’t ever see the kiss because he always holds up his hat to block our view ? ]   Cosmo came so close to dying over the next couple of days that  she was within a hair’s breadth of giving up the ghost  { note: not within a hare’s breath ; that would be a whole different discussion } .

Now , notice that I say  “my cat” , rather than “our cat” , even though Ada is the real cat person . Why is that ?  Will the real cat person please stand up !  She’s not going to like me to say this , but I’m going to let the cat out of the bag  anyhow , so to speak : Ada doesn’t really like Cosmo much . Ah , we could go into why or why not some other time , talk about having two women in the house , things like that , discuss jealousy issues , etc . ; but , the fact remains . The feeling may be mutual , for that matter ; I don’t know . Cats’  thoughts , as everyone knows , are  a little tough to suss out .

During almost the entire day Cosmo ignores the both of us , Ada and I , but it’s my chest that Cosmo the cat sits on at night when Ada and I hit the sack . I think the cat , deep down ,  knows that I was the one there nursing her when she was struggling to draw each  breath , that I syringed that medicine down her throat and was there to take care of her . I didn’t think she’d make it , to tell you the truth ,  but she somehow survived .

  Cosmo , aka Coyote Fighter . And now , since then , for all of those years since that experience , she just sits around the house , doesn’t wander , and takes life easy , sleeps a lot , glad to be alive , I suppose .  She may well be dreaming ( sleeps most of the day ) of fighting coyotes and then afterward  having a nice chicken dinner  . Or not . hen-man-costume


Filed under humor

23 responses to “my cat

  1. Ah. To be a cat and just while away the hours.

  2. You may say you’re not a cat person, but you stepped up to the plate to help an injured animal – I knew there was some reason I liked you!! 🙂

    • The other part of the story involves how I wouldn’t take out a second mortgage or sell my car to do all that the vet thought I should do to treat the cat . At some point I told him to give me some cat medicine and I took the cat home . Things worked out well .

      • Padding the bill, was he? I’ve known many a dentist or doctor to try that, but never a vet.

      • I was given a guilt trip like you wouldn’t believe , GP ! like this cat was my child , and how dare I not want to pay for all the procedures , tests , monitoring — to find out what was wrong with the animal , and only later would the real treatment begin .

  3. Reblogged this on No Facilities and commented:
    Sharing Dan’s, the other Dan, not me, not my cat, cat story of survival. It’s s good story, and I owe him one after making a snarky comment over there, last week.

  4. I am a cat person, one who has lost two cats to coyotes. Well, they weren’t my cats, precisely, but the neighbour’s. These cats spent as much time at our house as their own. So the loss was deeply felt.

    Yay for Cosmo – and yay for you.

  5. What a story. I was laughing and sad and then wondering…. Glad she made it and that you’re NOT the cat person, lol.

  6. Well, you are a caring cat person, Dan (the other Dan). Humorous too! Happy the coyote incident didn’t do Cosmos in, and he’s still around. Have heard too many horrific stories of coyotes dragging off cats and small dogs! 🎶 Christine

  7. I like Cosmos’ story and how you saved her life, “other” Dan. 🙂 I never really liked cats until I cat SAT for my friends for two weeks. They showed vulnerability and less aloofness. Dogs never show aloofness! 🙂

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