one mutual friend or another

I dedicate this post to that person I may know who shares that “one mutual friend” with me on Facebook . I gotta tell you , however , sometimes that one mutual friend mentioned isn’t such a great friend of mine after all if we want to keep this real . Might be , possibly , just a casual acquaintance I may have known ( whom I might not even have especially  liked ) through work or someone I ran into on FB through some once-known mutual friend .

Lots of those old work colleagues of mine were friends , but some weren’t . Bill A  from Virgil Middle School used to say : Remember : These are not your friends ; these are your colleagues . He had a point there . We ordinary people don’t have to feign the formalities of Congress , for example , who begin their long-winded scathing criticisms of other Congressmen’s points -of-view  : ” I rise in response to my good friend the esteemed Senator from the great state of  ……….. ” . What was it that Will Rogers pointed out ? , that they will say  :  “my good friend” when what they actually mean is  ” that polecat ” from the great state of wherever .

Anyway .   I seem to be finding more and more people I  “may know”  presented on my Facebook page . Half of them have a mutual friend  listed . Sometimes two mutual friends . Half , however , are people I don’t know , have never known , with not even one measly mutual friend listed to give some rationale to it all .

Maybe I just don’t understand how this Facebook thing works . BAR FIT Szczecin 2017 011

I know , of course nevertheless , that if I open up one of these nebulous contacts , then the Russians are instantly on to me . They’ll sell or trade my info to the Chinese and the North Koreans , and one of those evil entities will subsequently be hacked by the CIA or the NSA or the Chamber of Commerce or some elusive Slovenian or that fat kid in New Jersey . And then I’m done for ! Next thing I know , all the teenaged hackers in the world will have my number , and they’ll be trading my info like baseball cards or stock secrets .

I already know that my laptop is infected and hacked . I do no financial business on it at all and I try not to share much personal  info .while on-line .  Not that any foreign nation is much interested in my secrets . It’s bad enough that American corporations already flood me with ads appropriate  ( they think ) to my situation , thus making it obvious that they’ve already hacked me and have been for a hell of a long time .  Some of their annoying ads might be appropriate to my situation , but most are not —- just to let those know-it-alls  know . Are you listening , Google and all of you other guys ? You’re not the boss of me !

Anyhow.  Kirchner 1919

Happy Birthday !  , by the way , to all of you people with birthdays !  I never got your invitation to the party in the mail , but that’s really okay .  By the way , you never send anything to me in the mail , snail or electronic ; but that doesn’t bother me much . I know that when I push “like” you’ll be happy that I was thinking about you on your special day . Or Google was , anyway , and Google told me what’s going on . Or Facebook did . (You know , of course , that those government techies in Pyongyang have known way before I knew  . Just keep that in mind . So , what else do they know about you ? Where you went to dinner on your birthday , no doubt , and what you ate and drank too . Maybe you posted pictures of those french fries and the mai tais ? Just a reminder : Be careful ! )

man newspaper chair 1880

Well. Okay. Sorry I missed you as a friend this time around . Maybe in the next life we’ll meet and have a virtual beer or a burger together . Meanwhile I’ll think briefly about our mutual friend(s) if and when my curser moves in that direction ;  and if I see them around town or on FB , I’ll say hello for you . Well , more likely I’ll simply push “like” to their post , but you know what I mean .

Everything and everyone is connected , and we all have a vital part to play . Keep it real ! Tap on !

8 Comments

Filed under humor

8 responses to “one mutual friend or another

  1. I think you have better friends here on WP, the other Dan to be exact!!

  2. I was doing good until you mentioned New Jersey being in the loop. That scares me a little. I’m trying to decide if virtual friends and real beers are better than real friends and virtual beers…are those the only choices? ‘Cuz that’s not working out for me. You can tell me. I know that guy you know…

    • Now , I’m gonna have to say you do present terrible choices . First , 1. Has to be real beers , then 2. Needs to be real friends ( or , at least , passable beer-drinking buddies [ getting to be a rarer and rarer possibility ] .) No one said life is going to be easy , mi amigo . And —- New Jersey is just a metaphor . Is there a real place ? Christie !

  3. “Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
    Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
    But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
    Of each new-hatch’d, unfledged comrade.”
    Facebook is a Federal Bureau. Federal Bureau of Personal Pronouns.
    To thine own self be a good friend from the great state of
    Relaxation.

  4. Dear Mr. Hennessy,

    It’s obvious that you think we mutual friends of mutual entities, and so on, are fooled by the textual aspects of this post.

    Please be aware, however–and contrary to your feeble attempts to disguise the true communique oozing from the subversive graphic images you insert, all the while maintaining your well-practiced verbal routine that mimics an Irish country boy’s tender ignorance. Be aware that we tertiary, fourthiary, and fifthiary relatives of mutual friends recognize, and have translated into the One True Lingua Siciliana, the covert messages contained within the revolutionary graphic images you employ.

    “Vi invitiamo a pulire il tuo arcobaleno, poi a partecipare alla nostra festa di debauchery e finalmente si nasconda come un alchimista settecentesco e speriamo che nessun amico di un amico comune ti riconosca.”

    “We invite you to cleanse your rainbow, then attend our fiesta di debauchery, and finally disguise yourself as an eighteenth-century alchemist and hope no friend of a mutual friend recognizes you.”

    Damned right we’re watching you.

    • I issa no settecenesco , but I once went to a Tesco for some bread , if that counts for anything .. So , here I am in Poland with an Italiano mutual friend , who sits up on a big brass horse in helmet and armour in a town square . I’ll send a photo of this paisan one a these days , so’s youse can see I knows what I’m talking about , and am not justa full of Irish milarky . Meanwhile , justa be who you is and we’ll agree to agree on that .

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