Daily Archives: January 31, 2019

Einstein I ain’t

There’s stuff I  don’t know about . I’d like to use my age as an excuse for ignoring much of what I should be learning , or should already know , but I seem to get a corresponding nagging feeling that I should bone up on this or on that so’s I at least know a little bit about it , whatever it is .

I have friends who know a lot about this or about that . Well , some guys ( gender-neutral term in this case ) know this and some guys know that . I wish that I knew some of what they sometimes show they know ; but , on the other hand, I don’t want to begin whole new lines of inquiry . Interplanetary space , for example —- I don’t know a damn thing about planets , black holes , satellite technology , Coma galaxy clusters , …………………………..

In my own defense , though , I recently took a stab at learning something about Irish wool . Original research . I was skeptical about all of the “Irish” woolen garments on sale all over the place in Ireland when I noticed no country-of-origin labels on any of it . You know , where the “Irish wool” was actually woven . I began to visualize sweat shops in Vietnam , Bangladesh , China , sewing sewing sewing to fill quotas . After all , thousands of  tourist shops in Ireland were waiting . The wool probably was actually from Irish sheep , at least , I thought.

No. Wrong . I’d like to share my discoveries with you , but you know this kind of stuff is sensitive information . I can’t share it with just anybody . Let’s just say , for now , that wool from Irish sheep isn’t so superior when it comes to weaving wonderful scarves , socks , and sweaters . And the weaving ? I think all of those old women in the bonnets and shawls you may have seen in the story books sitting at their spinning wheels are mostly myths by now . Maybe look underground for them at Newgrange , or Knowth or Dowth . Oh , maybe that’s going back too far in time . My newly-acquired info goes straight to the CIA , FBI , NSA , NCI , CID , and any other DoD agencies that might want it . America First ! , you know.

I don’t want any of it to slip into the hands of any St. Petersburg trolls or like-minded trouble makers . You know , Cyber-Berkut folk , any pro-Putin youth groups , or the like . Or the Chinese . Or anyone else , for that matter . The Iranians . The Qataris . Or the kid in New Jersey in his mother’s basement. I’d like to pull the wool over their eyes ( so to speak ) so I don’t have to see any pointed and perhaps modified memes on Facebook . I’d say Twitter , too , or any other places , but I avoid those places ( And I avoid any knowledge of those places .  Notice how , like the old American Senators questioning tech execs , I use an opaque term like “places” — because I’m not hip to a more precise description ) .

Anyway , back to the point of this post . There’s a lot of stuff to know and no one knows it all . What was that meme I saw yesterday about Albert Einstein ? Some supposed quote of his about the importance of knowing what he doesn’t know , or knowing that he doesn’t know it ? Yeah , I can dig that ! I’m in the same mental space as Albert. I know a lot of stuff I don’t know .

Well , as far as that goes , I was in the same physical space , too ,  as Einstein — in the dining hall at Cal Tech in Pasadena  —- but I don’t think any of his genius rubbed off on me because of that . No evidence of it , anyhow , as far as I know . I’d like to have asked him , though , about Irish woolen goods  , if he knows anything about that . You never know.


Filed under humor