fairytales

Fishy , fishy , in the sea . Timpie , timpie , timpie tee . Isabel my willfull wife does not want my way of life .

What does she want then ? says the fish .

She wants to live in a mansion .

Done , says the fish . Go home to your mansion . But after some time the mansion seems too small , too shabby . Others have better, bigger . Fisherman is in the back room with his beers watching the Dodgers losing as his wife vacuums . He is contemplating possibilities .

Later , again with the fish : Fishy , fishy , in the sea …………

Same problem . She wants a castle now .The mansion’s too small . Then she wants to be king because the castle needs a little higher social status .  King ? Poor fisherman goes back and back again to the fish . Fishy , fishy ………. What does she want now that she’s king  ?  Everyone is her subject . What does she want now ?

She wants …………….

Go back , then , says fishy . And the fisherman goes back .

Now , we know fish are magical beings , and shape-changers , and slippery . Strangely , the fisherman , who should know fish , asks the fish favors , talks to the fish and hears answers . He determines that the fish can help him solve some of his problems . Can he provide a better life for his wife ? He lives in a starter hovel but wants to move up and then up again and then up again . [ In this economy ! ] Is it his wife who asks for the castle or is it his idea ? Does the wife even know that he’s out talking to fish ?

Dear , here’s your new kingdom , he tells the wife . He thinks that’s what she wants . Maybe she does . But maybe she doesn’t .

Aside :

My friend Ivan went with his contractor friend Torbin to talk to a rich couple about renovation of their mansion . Ivan said the couple argued and sniped at each other all the time they were there . They wouldn’t agree on a thing . Torbin worked out an estimation and gave them a price to do the work . The man looked at Ivan and said : What do you think ?

Well , you have to know my friend Ivan . He’s opinionated and he speaks his mind . What I think , he says to the couple , is that you both should go to marriage counseling . Your problems won’t be fixed by renovating the house . If , after a year or so , you still want to do the work on the house , call us .

Torbin was chastising Ivan all the way back to the truck . You ruined another job for me , he said . And this would have been lucrative !  Why don’t you just once keep your big mouth shut .

Because they don’t need a better house , Ivan said . And when we finish the work they won’t be satisfied .

Timpie , timpie ,timpie tee , fishy , fishy  in the sea . Isabel my willful wife , does not want my way of life .[  Finally the fisherman asks for too much and the fish sends him back to the original hovel ] . But the fisherman  doesn’t give up . He goes one more time to talk to the fish .

You again ? says the fish . He sounds annoyed . He gives the fisherman a fisheye stare . He spits out a golden ring . You want that ? he says .

The fisherman stares . Are we still in the same fairy tale ? , he asks .

I’m a fish , man ! , says the fish .  Go away .

But  then who’s gonna solve my problems ? asks the fisherman . The fish doesn’t answer . It turns its fish head around , splashes down into the water , and  swims away .

5 Comments

Filed under humor

5 responses to “fairytales

  1. Ah-hah, a very smart fish at that!

  2. In my brief career as a home improvement contractor, I ran into those people.

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