Daily Archives: March 2, 2020

tight skirt

Background John Lee Hooker .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvYr91vLkNY

I saw a picture of a woman in a mini skirt on the internet recently . If you’re old enough you will remember when these short skirts were such a shock and a big deal . Shocking !

Schools were making rules for teachers : NO MINI SKIRTS , and other employers were doing the same thing too , I suppose . They had just got over the issue of women teachers in pants suits . Some said no pants suits at work . Or did the pants suit problem arise later ? Maybe . I don’t remember , most likely because I myself never had to face the issue . I never thought to wear a mini skirt to work . Well , pants yes . Always did that , I will admit .

So I was reminded of a date I had long ago for the high school junior prom . The girl I was taking asked me , ” Can I wear a short formal ? ”

” Short formal , long formal , just as long as it’s a formal , ” I said. Sounds funny to use that term as I write this . Formal . The girls were expected to wear what were called formals . It was the kind of a dress , I think , that they would probably wear only once . I don’t think that they ever rented them . We guys rented tuxedos for the event .

Nowaday kids hire limosines , I think , to cart themselves around town as they drink their pilfered booze and try to stir up trouble , or to pretend to be doing that . Or is it strictly narcotics these days ? Or maybe I’m a little behind the times and they are all into health drinks , anti-oxidant rich sparkling berry water or squeezed spinach juice , or something like that . Good for them if they are .

I have to admit that when I was asked about a short formal , I had absolutely no idea what a short formal was . Sure, wear a short formal . A formal is a formal , right ?

Oh , not exactly .

Every other girl at the prom wore a long formal , a full -length fancy dress dropping down to the floor . Traditional . My date wore a short formal. A short formal , it seems , is a mini skirt . Elegant , yes , but short . And she was absolutely the only one wearing a mini skirt to the prom.

I thought it was okay , of course , and all of the guys thought it was sexy and risque and hot and some of their eyes were bugging out . They were amazed that I had a girlfriend like that . Me. I know they were amazed because I got several sly comments the next day at school . Suggestive wolf whistles . Weird noises . The entire male class was impressed . Some of them said they wished that their date had worn a mini shirt to the prom . They were jealous .

I played it up , I will admit , pretending to be this imagined secret Romeo . That reputation was good for a bit . Good for a teen-aged kid’s ego .

The trouble was — women will have already figured this out , I suspect — we had an extremely lousy time at the prom. My date was exceedingly uncomfortable , embarrased — no , humiliated — and pissed off . It was all my fault , of course . And she was not shy about letting me know all night long how angry she was .

Oh , yeah , I got whispered insults from her and threats and curses all evening . She made the best of her entrapment though , I think , as she pretended to be having a good time to the other participants . She smiled at classmates and chit-chatted with other girls . I don’t think that she punched me or anything like that at any time during the ordeal , but now that I think of it , I’m glad there were no sharp knives or shards of glass around at the time .

So , in the following days , as I was basking in the overall shock and awe and admiration from my friends and other guys for my being such a previously unrecognized Lothario , she was undoubtedly stewing in a sea of vexation remembering her extreme mortification and discomfort , and regurgitating her disgust of me .

Ah , so it goes ! Everybody make mistakes .

As I write this she , wherever she may be , just might be telling someone her memory of that particularly doomed junior prom . As she decribes me I wouldn’t mind if she uses colorful language and curses me to high heaven . I deserve it , I guess , although I’m just a guy and what do we know about fashion ! Right ?

Or maybe she got it out of her system decades ago . Maybe if I met her again now she would look at me quizzically : ” Dan who ? I don’t seem to remember you . Sorry .” Sometimes people block bad things out . At this point it doesn’t matter anyway .

Boom boom boom boom.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_6SlT3Yy10


Filed under humor