I dedicate this post to that person I may know who shares that “one mutual friend” with me on Facebook . I gotta tell you , however , sometimes that one mutual friend mentioned isn’t such a great friend of mine after all if we want to keep this real . Might be , possibly , just a casual acquaintance I may have known ( whom I might not even have especially liked ) through work or someone I ran into on FB through some once-known mutual friend .
Lots of those old work colleagues of mine were friends , but some weren’t . Bill A from Virgil Middle School used to say : Remember : These are not your friends ; these are your colleagues . He had a point there . We ordinary people don’t have to feign the formalities of Congress , for example , who begin their long-winded scathing criticisms of other Congressmen’s points -of-view : ” I rise in response to my good friend the esteemed Senator from the great state of ……….. ” . What was it that Will Rogers pointed out ? , that they will say : “my good friend” when what they actually mean is ” that polecat ” from the great state of wherever .
Anyway . I seem to be finding more and more people I “may know” presented on my Facebook page . Half of them have a mutual friend listed . Sometimes two mutual friends . Half , however , are people I don’t know , have never known , with not even one measly mutual friend listed to give some rationale to it all .
Maybe I just don’t understand how this Facebook thing works .
I know , of course nevertheless , that if I open up one of these nebulous contacts , then the Russians are instantly on to me . They’ll sell or trade my info to the Chinese and the North Koreans , and one of those evil entities will subsequently be hacked by the CIA or the NSA or the Chamber of Commerce or some elusive Slovenian or that fat kid in New Jersey . And then I’m done for ! Next thing I know , all the teenaged hackers in the world will have my number , and they’ll be trading my info like baseball cards or stock secrets .
I already know that my laptop is infected and hacked . I do no financial business on it at all and I try not to share much personal info .while on-line . Not that any foreign nation is much interested in my secrets . It’s bad enough that American corporations already flood me with ads appropriate ( they think ) to my situation , thus making it obvious that they’ve already hacked me and have been for a hell of a long time . Some of their annoying ads might be appropriate to my situation , but most are not —- just to let those know-it-alls know . Are you listening , Google and all of you other guys ? You’re not the boss of me !
Happy Birthday ! , by the way , to all of you people with birthdays ! I never got your invitation to the party in the mail , but that’s really okay . By the way , you never send anything to me in the mail , snail or electronic ; but that doesn’t bother me much . I know that when I push “like” you’ll be happy that I was thinking about you on your special day . Or Google was , anyway , and Google told me what’s going on . Or Facebook did . (You know , of course , that those government techies in Pyongyang have known way before I knew . Just keep that in mind . So , what else do they know about you ? Where you went to dinner on your birthday , no doubt , and what you ate and drank too . Maybe you posted pictures of those french fries and the mai tais ? Just a reminder : Be careful ! )
Well. Okay. Sorry I missed you as a friend this time around . Maybe in the next life we’ll meet and have a virtual beer or a burger together . Meanwhile I’ll think briefly about our mutual friend(s) if and when my curser moves in that direction ; and if I see them around town or on FB , I’ll say hello for you . Well , more likely I’ll simply push “like” to their post , but you know what I mean .
Everything and everyone is connected , and we all have a vital part to play . Keep it real ! Tap on !